Ranking my top 5 Female Vampires from TV: “I’m Going to Blow Out the Candles”

Happy Thursday TV viewers!  Why should boys have all the fun?  For today’s list, I am going to be looking at female vampires from television.  Whether she is considered witty, seductive, crazy, or just simply bad-ass, these female vampires refuse to let the boys steal the spotlight, as they give them a run for their money and capture our affection along the way.  Please note some spoilers are ahead.  My top 5 Female Vampires from TV are:

5

The Countess from American Horror Story:  Hotel

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“Why would I help you when it gives me so much joy to see you suffer?”

Portrayed by Lady Gaga, The Countess truly embodies the art of dark seduction.  In the beginning of the season, The Countess and Donovan go to a cemetery and seduce a young couple at a movie screening.  While the scene is initially sexual and passionate, it turns deadly when they brutally kill the couple and devour their blood.  The Countess is powerful and beyond alluring to others, as she really masters the penetrating stare deep within one’s soul, which allows her to corrupt and destroy.  The Countess has a hypnotizing quality about her, as she lures young children to her in order to maintain her eternal youth and she maintains her killer fashion sense with a glove that is simply to die for…literally.

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4

Jessica Hamby from True Blood

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“I’m so sick of silverin’ myself all day every day, being pissed off all the time. This is what PMS used to feel like.”

In Jessica’s mortal life, she grows up with a strict Christian family and is extremely pure.  Bill turns Jessica into a vampire and she becomes very dangerous, but mostly because she is also an emotional teenage girl.  Jessica is doomed to be a vampire virgin for eternity, which is both hilarious and horrible at the same time.  Jessica speaks her mind and is not afraid to let all of her emotions run wild, as she really proves to be a teenage daughter from hell for poor Bill.

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Later in the series, Jessica really develops as a character, but she never disappoints with providing us with some fun entertainment along the way.

3

Caroline Forbes from The Vampire Diaries

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“You are not even worth the calories I burn talking to you.”

During her mortal life, Caroline is actually quite annoying and judgmental.  However, when she is turned into a vampire, Caroline transforms into a very likable character, even though she has a new lust for blood.  Caroline is always levelheaded and is the one that you can truly envision being your own best friend. 

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She is loyal and thoughtful, even though she is a creature of the night, and she is often the character to present us with an unlikely voice of reason in the midst of the chaos going on in Mystic Falls.  She is also still sassy, which is entertaining as well.  They say that “blondes have more fun,” but in this case, I guess blonde vampires do.

2

Pam or Pamela Swynford De Beaufort from True Blood

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“I don’t know what it is about me that makes people think I want to hear their problems. Maybe I smile too much. Maybe I wear too much pink. But please remember, I can rip your throat out if I need to, and also know that I am not a hooker. That was a long, long time ago.”

This list would not be complete without including Pam.  Pam is Eric’s second in command at Fangtasia and she is not the most likable gal, but she doesn’t care, which makes her so incredibly amazing.  Pam does not have any issues with being a vampire.  She just accepts who she is and she embraces the darkness with flair.  Pam’s witty remarks are laugh out loud funny and she doesn’t care who she pisses off.

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Her leather ensembles are to die for and her devotion to Eric is something truly remarkable, as he is one of the few beings in the world that truly matters to her.  Pam is absolutely bad-ass and is a vampire that you do not want to mess with.

Some honorable mentions before revealing my number one pick are:

  • Rebekah from “The Originals”
  • Harmony from “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” and “Angel”
  • Shauna Babcock from “The Passage”
  • Sophie-Anne from “True Blood”
  • Olivia Godfrey from “Hemlock Grove”
  • Katherine from “The Vampire Diaries”
  • Tara from “True Blood”
  • Elena from “The Vampire Diaries”
  • Darla from “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” and “Angel”

1

Drusilla from Buffy the Vampire Slayer & Angel

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“I met an old man. Didn’t like him. He got stuck in my teeth.”

So my number one pick has to go to Drusilla from Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel.  Played by the absolutely incredible Juliet Landau, Drusilla is Spike’s girlfriend and is pretty much batshit crazy, but that’s all part of her charm.  Drusilla first comes to Sunnydale back in season 2 and has been weakened by a mob.  Drusilla has visions and often sees stars indoors and enjoys having tea parties with her dolls.  However, these are not ordinary tea parties, as Dru tends to blindfold the dolls who don’t behave so that they cannot watch her feed and kill.

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Drusilla is extremely dangerous when she does get her strength back and even kills a slayer named Kendra, using her hypnosis on her before slashing her throat with her nail.  Even though Drusilla is a vampire, she feels so much.  It may be misguided, but she later explains to Buffy that vampires are very capable of love.  Drusilla makes several guest appearances later on both Buffy and Angel and always causes some trouble, while keeping us thoroughly entertained.  She still remains my absolute favorite female vampire on television and probably always will be.  Just remember, if you set a “bad example, you will have no cakes today.”

I hope you enjoyed the list and please feel free to post your thoughts and comments below on some of your favorite female vampires from TV.  Thanks so much for reading and happy viewing!

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Best,

Amy Koto, TV Fanatic Girl

@TV_Fanatic_Girl

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