Ranking the top 5 moments from “The Affair” season 5 episode 4: “There You Are Noah”

Happy Sunday TV fans!  After watching Showtime’s The Affair season 5 episode 4, I realized that sometimes one decision can set forth a course of events.  If you are given the chance to have everything you ever wanted, would you take it?  Sometimes the decision is not always clear cut, but once we get everything we thought we ever wanted, is it enough?  Please note spoilers are ahead if you have not gotten a chance to watch the latest episode yet.  

In tonight’s episode, “504,” Noah shows us a glimmer of potential, but continues to be thrown off course by Sasha’s relationship with Helen.  Meanwhile, Whitney crosses paths with an ex-boyfriend who could change everything for her and Joanie tries to make a clean start.  My top 5 moments from The Affair season 5 episode 4 are:

5

“Well for once we want the same thing…”

Part one of the episode follows Noah and the kids seem excited about attending Sasha’s Halloween party, while Helen’s mother disapproves.  Noah seems to really be putting forth an effort with both Trevor and Stacey, reminding Helen that he just wants to maintain a healthy and stable co-parenting environment/relationship.  Let’s just hope he can keep this up because Noah has the tendency to get distracted and obsessed easily with other things, especially since Helen is still dating Sasha.

4

“You want her back.”

During Noah’s part of the episode, he runs into the new sheriff in town, Joel, who is just dressing the part for Halloween, but he does point out to Noah that perhaps he wants Helen back.  Noah denies this, but then why is he so obsessed with Helen’s decisions?  Is it more about Helen or does he feel like Sasha is replacing him? 

Noah is upset to discover that Sasha will be credited as the co-writer of the movie based on his book, so I have to wonder where his frustration is really coming from?  Helen is taking care of Helen and I wasn’t a fan of Noah trying to leave behind a bra so that she would get angry at Sasha.  It just seemed selfish and childish and Noah needs to leave that part of his life behind him.

3

“Hi Dad.”

Part three of the episode follows Joanie and she decides to start cleaning out Cole’s house.  Only she begins throwing out all of the pictures of Alison and Cole as well.  She then finds the box of letters that Cole learned about on his trip to Morro Bay and tosses it, which instantly broke my heart and then she stumbles across the chest with Gabriel’s toys.  Joanie pauses when she gets to this one, immediately recognizing and understanding the meaning behind it, but she throws it out as well and takes off on Alison’s old bicycle and heads to the cemetery to say hello to her dad.

It looks like Joanie is trying to erase every part of her past, but I’m not sure this is the right answer.  I’m looking forward to finding out what actually prompts her to go and find Ben Cruz.  She seems willing to part with these reminders of her family, but what makes her want to solve the mystery behind Alison’s death?

2

“I don’t want to be looked at anymore.”

Part two of the episode is from Whitney’s perspective, which was a nice change of pace.  I mentioned in last week’s blog that I wanted to find out more about Whitney’s story so I was pleased to see this.  Whitney has been struggling for a while now to get by and her rent is past due.  Colin is putting a lot of stress on her since he can’t work and she begins to resent him for it.  To make things more complicated, Whitney’s much older ex-boyfriend, Furkat, returns.  Remember him from Paris?  He begs Whitney for her forgiveness and invites her to a gallery opening, introducing her to some connections along the way.

Later on, Whitney has a conversation with Furkat’s new connection, who asks Whitney, “If you could have everything you ever wanted, what would it look like?”  Whitney talks about wanting to open up her own gallery and ends up sleeping with Furkat.  The man she spoke to comes in to watch and Furkat explains that he can give her the gallery she is dreaming of.  Whitney has come so far as a character, but she gives in here and allows this to happen; wanting to get that much closer to her dreams, but everything has a price. 

At the end of her part, she crawls back into bed with Colin and holds on to him, as the guilt of her actions washes over her.  I thought this was a revealing and vulnerable moment for Whitney and I started to think about how similar she is to both her mother and father.  Helen warned her daughter about not giving up her dreams for a man, while Noah has always put his dreams above all else in some regards, so you have to wonder which side of the scale Whitney will ultimately end up on?

1

“Because I’m her father.”

It’s been a while since I have given a Noah moment my number one spot, but I have to say that I was impressed by his loyalty to his daughter, Stacey.  After Stacey gets her period for the first time, she locks herself in the bathroom.  Noah asks Helen’s mother to help out and puts her in her place, reminding her that he is Stacey’s father and he is not going to leave her side.  Helen’s mother is actually impressed by this and says, “There you are Noah…welcome back.” 

Stacey is grateful that her father stands by her and they are absolutely adorable heading into Sasha’s Halloween party.  Too bad Noah makes some bad decisions after this, but his moment with Stacey reminded us that perhaps Noah needs to put aside Noah, the writerNoah, the directorNoah, the lover and just simply focus on being a good father.  Can he stay on track?  Stay tuned!

I hope you enjoyed the list and feel free to post your own theories and thoughts on The Affair below in the comments section.  Thanks so much for reading and happy viewing!

Best,

Amy Koto, TV Fanatic Girl

Have a performance on TV that you think is simply outstanding? Feel free to contact me with your nomination for the week by Friday at midnight! 

**Do you love television shows like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Once Upon a Time, Lost, Charmed, The Vampire Diaries, and Supernatural?  Do you enjoy dark fantasy, fairy-tale retellings, paranormal romance, horror, and mystery?  Then you may like my book series, Dreaming of Wonderland…available on Amazon!  Thank you for taking the time to check it out and I appreciate any feedback as well.  I really hope you enjoy!

The Dreaming of Wonderland Book Series is available here!

Dreaming of Wonderland Series Blog

Free Instant Preview of The Search for Alice is available here!

**If you enjoyed this blog, I would love it if you would click the follow button on your way out to subscribe.  Thanks for your support!

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Ranking the top 5 moments from “The Affair” season 5 episode 3: “You Are Allowed To Say No”

Happy Sunday TV fans!  After watching Showtime’s The Affair season 5 episode 3, I realized that sometimes it takes “an enormous fall from grace” in order for someone to come full circle.  But what if you can’t see this redemption for yourself?  Does that mean that it is incomplete or is it possible that you went right back to where you started without learning anything?  Please note spoilers are ahead if you have not gotten a chance to watch the latest episode yet.  

In tonight’s episode, “503,” it seems like Noah is on a new path, but his obsession over Helen continues to cloud his better judgment.  Meanwhile, Helen grows closer to Sasha and Joanie meets a stranger, revealing some darkness within her.  My top 5 moments from The Affair season 5 episode 3 are:

5

“You remind me of your mother…”

Part one of the episode follows Noah and we witness him having dinner with his daughter, Whitney.  Whitney seems stressed and beyond exhausted, but Noah is concerned that perhaps she is jumping into a wedding with Colin a little bit too quickly, especially since his green card depends on it.  Noah knows that his daughter will not listen to him, hoping to convince Helen to talk some sense into her, but I’m interested to find out more about Whitney’s story.

Whitney has been on and off the show so I’m hoping to see some character growth and development for her, but I’m worried about whether or not Colin has true feelings for her.  I’m also wondering if Noah will finally be able to repair the damage between them or if he will always feel like an outsider to his own family?

4

“How’s that working out?”

During Noah’s part of the episode, he receives a call from Janelle.  We learn that Janelle never returned his phone calls after Vic’s funeral and that they haven’t spoken in three months.  Noah agrees to meet Janelle in person so she can explain things and he discovers that she is running for the school board and is back together with Carl. 

Janelle wants to make sure that Noah will keep things quiet about their past relationship since it could damage her campaign and I’m wondering if we will see more of this developed.  I’m not surprised that things didn’t work out between Noah and Janelle, but I also want to keep her relevant on the show so some secrets may have to be leaked in order for this happen.

3

“You are one sick bitch…”

Part three of the episode follows Joanie and once again, we only get a few minutes to follow her, which is starting to irritate me slightly.  I’m really hoping that these little bits and pieces will lead to a much bigger part of the puzzle because I feel like Joanie deserves a lot more screen time, but I am trusting in executive producer, Sarah Treem to seamlessly connect everything in a satisfying way.  I guess that just goes to show that I am very invested in Joanie’s character and I want to know more!

Joanie sits at a bar in Montauk and lies about having children to the bartender, asking him if she looks like someone who would have kids.  The two go back to Cole’s old house and have rough sex, as Joanie proceeds to slap the stranger in order to feel something.

There is clearly darkness and some kind of void inside of Joanie, but I’m worried about this dark path that she is headed on.  I’m really hoping that discovering the truth behind Alison’s death will give her some kind of peace of mind because it looks like she is beyond damaged and I want so much more for Alison and Cole’s daughter.

2

“You’re very territorial.”

In the beginning of the episode, Noah is doing an interview for Vanity Fair and the journalist asks him, “Would you say that the redemption of Noah Solloway is complete?”  Noah is unable to answer this, proving once again that perhaps Noah doesn’t have a clue about who he really is or who he is meant to be.

Later in the episode, Noah becomes obsessed when watching Helen and Sasha, reminding me of the crazy Noah we saw in season 3 after he was in prison.  I didn’t like this Noah and I don’t want to see him return, but I think that Sasha was on to something.  Sasha tells Noah that he can’t see himself and that’s why he doesn’t understand his character.  But I have to wonder if Noah will ever be able to truly see himself or if he will forever be trapped in the past, wallowing in self-pity, unable to ever be satisfied?

1

“You don’t have to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.”

Sasha has some pretty great lines in this episode and I think that he may be the unlikely voice of reason for both Noah and Helen.  However, I still don’t completely trust him.  Helen and Sasha’s relationship has advanced to the next level, but is Helen truly ready to move on?  Helen has a lot to deal with, including the news of her father’s declining health and allowing Sierra and baby Eddie to stay under her roof.  Sasha reminds Helen that she can say no, but it seems like Helen may be using Sasha as an escape. 

I honestly just want Helen to find some kind of happiness, but I’m not sure that Sasha is her knight in shining armor.  Perhaps Helen doesn’t need a boyfriend anymore as she mentioned to her son earlier.  I just think she needs to truly love and appreciate herself, but it will be interesting to see what happens next now that Sasha has gained more of her trust.

The Affair still has me hooked and I can’t wait to find out more!  Stay tuned!

I hope you enjoyed the list and feel free to post your own theories and thoughts on The Affair below in the comments section.  Thanks so much for reading and happy viewing!

Best,

Amy Koto, TV Fanatic Girl

Have a performance on TV that you think is simply outstanding? Feel free to contact me with your nomination for the week by Friday at midnight! 

**Do you love television shows like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Once Upon a Time, Lost, Charmed, The Vampire Diaries, and Supernatural?  Do you enjoy dark fantasy, fairy-tale retellings, paranormal romance, horror, and mystery?  Then you may like my book series, Dreaming of Wonderland…available on Amazon!  Thank you for taking the time to check it out and I appreciate any feedback as well.  I really hope you enjoy!

The Dreaming of Wonderland Book Series is available here!

Dreaming of Wonderland Series Blog

Free Instant Preview of The Search for Alice is available here!

**If you enjoyed this blog, I would love it if you would click the follow button on your way out to subscribe.  Thanks for your support!

Ranking the top 5 moments from “The Affair” season 5 episode 2: “Be A Little Selfish”

Happy Sunday TV fans!  After watching Showtime’s The Affair season 5 episode 2, I realized that sometimes we have to take some much needed time for ourselves.  A lot of times it may seem routine or necessary to deflect our own feelings and worry about what is going on around us, but you also don’t want to lose who you are in the process.  Perhaps it’s more about finding a balance, but taking care of ourselves can help more than we realize.  Please note spoilers are ahead if you have not gotten a chance to watch the latest episode yet.  

In tonight’s episode, “502,” we see things from Janelle’s point of view, reminding us that Noah really is completely oblivious and off in his own world sometimes.  Meanwhile, Helen bonds with Sasha and Joanie takes a work trip up to Montauk, but will she find the answers she is looking for?  My top 5 moments from The Affair season 5 episode 2 are:

5

“Girlfriend is a strong word.”

Part one of the episode follows Janelle, as we see things from her perspective during Vic’s funeral, which really helped fill in some blanks since we know that Janelle did disappear several times.  I am a big fan of Sanaa Lathan and I love the character of Janelle.  She is strong, opinionated, and brilliant.

Noah says that he can’t wait for Janelle to get to know his family, but the whole situation is slightly awkward and a bit overwhelming, especially when Helen’s father mistakes her for the help  and Noah’s daughter, Whitney, points out how she is super excited that her dad is dating a woman of color.

Janelle does her best to deal with these inappropriate side comments with grace, but you have to wonder how long her relationship will last with Noah?  I personally think that Janelle is out of his league, but I am trying to keep an open mind here.

4

“Are you always this honest?”

Three months later, we see things from Helen’s perspective, as she agrees to go on set with Noah and Whitney.  Noah was under the impression that they were shooting a harmless family scene, but Helen actually has to watch a reenactment of the moment when she found Alison’s bra in her drawer.  Helen is clearly going through a lot after Vic’s death and is speaking her mind even more than usual.

She is not intimidated when meeting celebrity, Sasha Mann, and she points out that the character based on Helen should really be more of a bitch.  Sasha appreciates her feedback and thinks that Helen is quite extraordinary and I have to say that I agree!

3

“Montauk…”

I was worried that we were not going to get a chance to check in with Joanie at all during this episode, but we do get some time with her.  Joanie is seen throwing up in the toilet, but wants to cover it up.  Does this mean that she is pregnant or is something else going on here?  Joanie is just as guarded and secretive as her mother and she has been trying to keep busy with work.  Joanie accepts an assignment out in Montauk and tells her husband that she will be staying in her dad’s old house.

When Joanie arrives, Montauk seems like a ghost town and her fingerprint is not recognized at the house.  Joanie decides to break in and it looks like she is about to discover even more ghosts as this story unfolds, but will she be able to uncover the truth behind Alison’s murder?  I’m also curious to find out more about how Cole died and I am very interested in this story-line, as this keeps the story of Alison and Cole alive for us.

2

“Don’t come from within.  Come from above.”

After Janelle discovers that she is now being offered a co-principal job with a young white male teacher with very little experience, she decides to go visit her ex-husband, Carl, to get some legal advice.  Janelle will have to take a pay cut and Joel will be the face of the position, while she will get stuck doing all of the administrative work, which hardly seems fair.  Carl initially presents her the facts, but it’s clear that Janelle is looking for some real support here. 

Janelle says that she doesn’t play well with others, but I honestly like that about her.  She tells it how it is and sometimes you need that in order to maintain structure and she has been trying to create some real change within the school district, which is pretty much what she was hired to do.  Carl presents her with an alternative idea and tells her to run for the school board, which would really shake things up.

This would certainly be a huge change for Janelle, but she also decides to pick things up with Carl romantically again, which could have some interesting consequences.  I already assumed that her relationship would not last very long with Noah, but is she ready to jump back into a failed marriage?  We’ll have to wait and see, but I hope we get some more screen time for Janelle because she is fantastic.

1

“Live now for us both.”

Helen reluctantly agrees to meet with Sasha Mann and she even lets loose to play some basketball, but things go south when Sasha hits her right in the face with the ball.  Helen feels sick and has a slight breakdown and Sasha actually handles it quite well and tries to support Helen.  Helen explains that she wasn’t prepared for how permanent death is, opening up a little bit here.

When Helen returns home, she finally plays Vic’s recording for her and he tells her to “be a little selfish,” understanding that Helen is probably keeping her grief to herself to stay strong for everyone around her, but that she needs to be happy and enjoy life for the both of them. 

I thought this was an important moment for Helen and Vic really touched on some of the points I made in last week’s blog about Helen enjoying life so I was happy to hear him say something similar.  Is Helen finally ready to move on?  Let’s hope so!

The ladies of The Affair are certainly holding my undivided attention as we sink deeper back into the ocean.  Stay tuned!

I hope you enjoyed the list and feel free to post your own theories and thoughts on The Affair below in the comments section.  Thanks so much for reading and happy viewing!

Best,

Amy Koto, TV Fanatic Girl

**Do you love television shows like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Once Upon a Time, Lost, Charmed, The Vampire Diaries, and Supernatural?  Do you enjoy dark fantasy, fairy-tale retellings, paranormal romance, horror, and mystery?  Then you may like my book series, Dreaming of Wonderland…available on Amazon!  Thank you for taking the time to check it out and I appreciate any feedback as well.  I really hope you enjoy!

The Dreaming of Wonderland Book Series is available here!

Dreaming of Wonderland Series Blog

Free Instant Preview of The Search for Alice is available here!

**If you enjoyed this blog, I would love it if you would click the follow button on your way out to subscribe.  Thanks for your support!

Ranking the top 5 moments from “The Affair” season 5 episode 1 season premiere: “So What Happens Now?”

Happy Sunday TV fans!  After watching Showtime’s The Affair season 5 premiere, it seems like a lot has changed since we last checked in.  Time jumps are present, which may seem jarring and unfamiliar at first, but the opening to the final season of the show does a fantastic job of tugging at all of your emotions while making you cry your eyes out, but that’s part of its addictive and melodramatic charm.  Please note spoilers are ahead if you have not gotten a chance to watch the latest episode yet.  

In tonight’s episode, “501,” it looks like Noah’s book may be turned into a movie, bringing up some interesting questions for him.  Meanwhile, Helen attempts to cope with Vic’s deteriorating health and we time jump into the future to follow Alison and Cole’s adult daughter, Joanie.  My top 5 moments from The Affair season 5 episode 1 season premiere are:

5

“Why does Daniel leave his wife?”

Part one of the episode follows Noah and he is meeting with some kind of movie producer who is interested in his book.  The movie producer seems fascinated with the character based on Helen and brings up some questions of self reflection for Noah, asking him why the character left his wife.  Noah tries to explain that it is not really an easy answer and the movie producer seems to have an addiction for toxic relationships himself, but perhaps Noah needs to revisit his characters again so he doesn’t make the same mistakes in the present.

4

“You’re supposed to be on my side.”

After Vic was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in season 4, we now discover that he has tragically passed and Noah attends the funeral with Janelle.  Helen is doing her best to keep everything together, but she has to deal with Vic’s overbearing parents as well, who refuse to honor Vic’s final wishes for burial.  Helen has an outburst and rightfully so, which brings Noah into the mix.

While it seems like Noah has good intentions here, I’m not sure that Helen is ready to deal with him right now.  Noah is still somewhat of an outsider to his own family, discovering that Whitney is getting married through Vic’s recording, rather than hearing it from his own daughter.  Is it possible for him to finally make amends or will he simply accept his current circumstances?

3

“She’s a keeper.”

I was super excited to see that Janelle is still on the show, played brilliantly by Sanaa Lathan, but it doesn’t even seem like Noah notices her half the time.  Noah is clearly distracted by what is going on with Helen, but he has a strong, intelligent, and loyal woman right next to him.  Will Noah ever truly be satisfied or will he continue to chase after the unattainable?

I’m really hoping that he makes some kind of real decision in the final season, as I’m not sure that we have really seen too much growth for his character.  After everything he has been through, he is still ignoring the beautiful woman standing by his side to dive back into the drama and misery of what could have been.

2

“This is the age my mother died…”

Part two time jumps into the future, as we catch up with Joanie, played by True Blood’s Anna Paquin.  I have to say that I am impressed with that casting, as I could totally see her as Alison and Cole’s daughter and she is already channeling so much angst that we came to identify with Alison’s character.

So far we don’t know too much.  Joanie says that she misses her dad and is taking medication for her anxiety.  She has a husband and two daughters, but she fears that one of her daughters senses that she is adopted.  Joanie is also turning the same age Alison was when she died, which is clearly bringing up a lot of past issues for her. 

Based on the previews for the upcoming episodes, it looks like Joanie plans on following up on how Alison died and even decides to try and track down Ben Cruz, who we know is responsible for her mother’s death.  Will Joanie’s quest lead to answers or is she destined to follow her mother’s tragic fate?  I’m not sure, but I am very invested in this story-line.  Since we do not have Alison or Cole on the show any longer, Joanie is our last tie to this connection that I fell in love with so many seasons ago and I’m hoping everything can come full circle to bring us some justice for Alison.

1

“I had to be resilient.”

Part three of the episode is from Helen’s perspective.  We witness the moments leading up to Vic’s death and the birth of his child.  I’ve gone back and forth with my feelings on Helen as a character and I really started to genuinely like her in season 4.  In the season 5 premiere, Helen has finally reached her true moment in the spotlight.  In season 4, Joshua Jackson and Ruth Wilson had fantastic performances that still touch my mind, body, and soul, but Maura Tierney just stepped up to the plate.

She had me crying my eyes out with every single moment from her perspective.  Even though Helen is known for speaking her mind, those moments of silence, where you could just see the reality striking her felt so incredibly real and heartbreaking.  I was incredibly impressed by this performance and I can’t wait to see what happens next with Helen’s character.

Overall, I thought that the season premiere had a lot of promise and it will be interesting to see how it all ends.  Noah discussed the ending of his book in the beginning of the episode and I thought this was a clever way to remind the audience that perhaps the end of one of our favorite series will leave us with something unexpected as well.  Stay tuned!

I hope you enjoyed the list and feel free to post your own theories and thoughts on The Affair below in the comments section.  Thanks so much for reading and happy viewing!

Best,

Amy Koto, TV Fanatic Girl

**Do you love television shows like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Once Upon a Time, Lost, Charmed, The Vampire Diaries, and Supernatural?  Do you enjoy dark fantasy, fairy-tale retellings, paranormal romance, horror, and mystery?  Then you may like my book series, Dreaming of Wonderland…available on Amazon!  Thank you for taking the time to check it out and I appreciate any feedback as well.  I really hope you enjoy!

The Dreaming of Wonderland Book Series is available here!

Dreaming of Wonderland Series Blog

Free Instant Preview of The Search for Alice is available here!

**If you enjoyed this blog, I would love it if you would click the follow button on your way out to subscribe.  Thanks for your support!

Ranking the top 5 moments from “The Affair” season 4 episode 10 Season Finale: “We are just so Lucky to be Alive”

Happy Sunday TV fans!  After watching Showtime’s The Affair, I realized that life can be messy and unpredictable.  Sometimes the big moments all happen at once and sometimes we don’t even see them coming.  We can’t ever truly prepare ourselves for these moments, but it’s important to remember that we are lucky to be alive as Noah said and that each new day can bring a glimmer of hope that things can get better.  It may take time and our pain and grief may never fade away entirely, but it’s important to keep fighting and surviving for those around us.  Please note spoilers are ahead if you have not gotten a chance to watch the latest episode yet.  In tonight’s episode, “410,” Noah tries to distract himself from his own grief by staying with Anton at Princeton, but he quickly realizes that there is somewhere else he needs to be.  Meanwhile, Cole has an extremely difficult time at Alison’s funeral and Helen tries to juggle her daughter’s return along with some shocking news from Sierra, all while Vik’s illness takes a turn for the worst.  My top 5 moments from The Affair season 4 episode 10 season finale are:

5

“You shouldn’t be here.”

Part one of the episode is from Noah’s perspective and he is still with Anton at Princeton.  Noah catches up with an old friend from school and he sits in on her writing class.  The students are beyond excited to meet Noah and tell him that he is the reason why they became writers and Noah explains that writing characters is all about listening to people.  Anton has truly perfected this difficult task when he reads his piece about a character that is a contradiction and describes Noah.  He starts out talking about how Noah is an inspiration and someone who truly wants to teach and be there for his students, but things take an unexpected turn when he then says, “He believes in my future…also he’s fucking my mother.”  Noah is upset at Anton and asks him why he would do that after all he has done for him.  Anton has certainly reached his full potential, but we know that Noah has a difficult time taking a good look in the mirror sometimes.  While he was initially upset with Anton’s words, he quickly realizes where Anton is coming from and appreciates when he says that he is sorry about Alison.  Noah is asked a few times what he is doing there and he finally realizes that it’s time to leave and deal with what has happened to Alison.  Anton thanks Noah for everything he has done for him and I have to say that it’s about time Noah has had a true connection with someone.  He may have trouble finding happiness with the women in his life, but he believed in Anton and helped him get on the right path.

4

“Can you please stop calling me Helen?”

“Surprise!”  Whitney is back with her boyfriend and is ready to stir things up per usual.  Helen is very happy to see her daughter, but she has been dealing with a lot of stress and Vik has been in the hospital because of an infection.  Helen does her best to tell Whitney about everything, but Whitney makes everything about her, proving that she hasn’t really changed very much since we last saw her.  Whitney attacks her mother and says, “I have my shit together, why can’t you?”  As if this moment wasn’t already chaotic enough, Sierra stops by with a “white butterfly,” and tells Helen that she needs to talk to her.  The phone then rings and Vik’s mother tells Helen that Vik is not doing well, as the whirlwind of stress escalates even further.  It’s understandable that Helen is having a difficult time coping with all of this at once and she manages to keep her dry sense of humor through it all, making me cheer for her that much more.

3

“How could you of all people be gone?”

In part two, we see everything from Cole’s perspective, as he prepares for Alison’s funeral.  We do get to hear Noah’s words about Alison at the service which are very moving and heartbreaking.  Noah says, “You were magic, you were light…you were wild, you were brave.  You made me see the world with new eyes…with wonder.”  Noah’s words were so romantic and moving.  While Cole has a difficult time finding the words, Noah paints a beautiful picture of Alison Bailey.  We see several old characters at the service like Oscar and Jane and even Ben makes a surprise guest appearance.  While this was very unsettling for me, Noah’s words really impacted me and I think he was able to speak for Cole as well, who is more about action rather than words.  We all grieve in our own way, but Alison was truly someone special and she will be missed by everyone.

2

“I was too late.  I am always too late.”

During the funeral for Alison, Cole is very upset with Athena, knowing that Alison would truly hate the idea of her ashes being scattered into the ocean.  When it is Cole’s time to speak, he grabs the urn and runs away from everyone and everything.  He ends up at Gabriel’s grave and sits there for quite a while.  Noah goes to speak to him and tries to remind him that he is not the only one who loved her and that this moment was important for Athena.  Later on, Cherry goes to see her son and Cole confides in her that he was coming back for Alison, but that he was too late, which is beyond heartbreaking.  Cherry lost her own husband to suicide and tries to explain that life is very messy and that she understands the desire to want to take control, but that we can’t always do so in every situation.  Cherry explains that it takes time, but the pain may never truly disappear.  However, she talks about Cole being a survivor and a fighter and more importantly, being there for Joanie.  Cole and Luisa recognize that their relationship is over, but Cole wants to keep their marriage intact on paper so that she can get her citizenship and because she is an important person in Joanie’s life.  While I’m not sure if this will go according to plan, Cole takes the time to take Joanie on a road trip away from everything.  When he talks about death, he explains that people believe in different things and Joanie asks him what he believes.  In a touching moment, Cole explains to his daughter that whenever she misses her mother, all she has to do is think about her and she will always be with her.  This moment is truly important, as Cole takes his mother’s advice, understanding that there is no easy fix to this situation, but his purpose now is to be there for his daughter no matter what.

1

“We are just so lucky to be alive.”

Part three of the episode is from Helen’s perspective.  After being shut out of the hospital room for not having a visitor’s pass, Helen finds out that Sierra is pregnant with Vik’s baby and is beyond shocked.  Helen needs a moment away from everyone and confides in Noah.  Helen tells Noah that she doesn’t know if she truly loves Vik the way she is supposed to; especially since it is not the way she loved Noah.  The two continue to confide in each other about Alison and Vik and how they ended up where they are now.  When Helen explains that she thinks she is broken and that Vik deserves better, Noah refuses to let her say this about herself.  While he starts out telling Helen that she is snobby and overbearing, the compliment soon emerges when he says, “I don’t know anyone who’s tougher than you.”  Helen is touched by this and Noah takes it a step further when he says that if he was dying, he would want Helen by his side.  Helen and Noah have come so far and have had so many ups and downs, but this moment was truly something significant for me.  Through it all, these two are still connected and have a bond and friendship that surpasses everything.  While it may not be right for the two of them to be together romantically anymore, it’s clear that they both still care about one another very much.  Noah’s words to Helen clearly help her, as she goes to see Vik and simply whispers to him over and over again, “I love you.”  Helen knows that this is what Vik needs to hear, especially since he began breaking down that he should have listened to her about treatment and that he is not ready to die.  Helen courageously goes to get Sierra in the waiting room and says, “Tell him now.”  Helen understands that this is something that could truly help Vik, proving to be someone who is selfless and caring.  The end of the episode reveals Helen walking up on the rooftop of the building, staring out at the sun and the city.  While I was initially confused and anxious about this scene, I took it as Helen finally opening her eyes and embracing a new day and a life full of possibilities, truly connecting with the concept that she is lucky to be alive.  There are still so many open doors left to explore in this series and I am beyond excited to see the conclusion in season 5.  Stay tuned!

I hope you enjoyed the list and feel free to post your own theories and thoughts on The Affair below in the comments section.  Thanks so much for reading and happy viewing!

Best,

Amy Koto, TV Fanatic Girl

@TV_Fanatic_Girl

If you enjoyed this blog, I would love it if you would click the follow button on your way out to subscribe.  Thanks for your support! 

I am so excited to announce that my book, The Search for Alice, is now available!  If you enjoy fairy-tale retellings, paranormal romance, horror, and mystery, then this might be the book for you or someone you know!  Thank you for taking the time to check it out and I appreciate any feedback as well.  I hope you enjoy!

When Kallie Bennett, a jaded teenage girl plagued by her alcoholic mother and her peers molded out of sheer bubble gum perfection, chases after Alice in Wonderland herself, she ends up lost in her own version of Wonderland, which forces her to face her utmost fears and introduces her to familiar characters with a dark twist. Among these characters is Ches, a gorgeous vampire with a conflicted conscience, who becomes Kallie’s guide and blossoming love interest. She also crosses paths with Queen Hartley, a manipulative witch who has the power to strip away one’s memories and imagination, which brings a bone chilling new meaning to “off with their heads.” In The Search for Alice, Kallie starts to realize that her Wonderland is just as frightening as her own reality and that she cannot always run away from her problems. She must figure out a way to defeat Queen Hartley and return home before it is too late, but she soon learns that escaping Wonderland means leaving Ches behind forever.

Want to read more?  You can click the link directly below for a free preview.  Thanks for your support!

Free Instant Preview of The Search for Alice is available here!

The Search for Alice is available here!

The Search for Alice Cover

Ranking the top 5 moments from “The Affair” season 4 episode 9: “I Just Want To Live A Different Life”

Happy Monday TV fans!  After watching Showtime’s The Affair last night, I realized that it is never too late to try and change our own story.  Alison Bailey is proof of that.  Over the years, Alison has been broken, like a wounded bird, desperately trying to cling to some kind of temporary moment of bliss.  Even though Alison began to make real changes in her life, her true metamorphosis occurred when she took Helen’s advice and decided to change her narrative, refusing to let men treat her a certain way.  That made this episode even more tragic, dark, and heartbreaking for me.  I was so proud of Alison’s strength here, but sometimes there is a darkness in others that tries to stifle even the faintest light, dragging it deep into the ocean.  But not everything stays beneath the surface for long.  Please note major spoilers are ahead if you have not gotten a chance to watch the latest episode yet.  In last night’s episode, “409,” Alison prepares for her conversation with Ben and confronts him about his lie.  While the temptation remains, Alison focuses all of her energy on doing the right thing and finding out the truth.  Alison’s fate is finally revealed to the audience, which is both shocking and devastating.  My top 5 moments from The Affair season 4 episode 9 are:

5

“All I want is to somehow be forgiven.”

Part one of the episode is from Alison’s perspective, as she anxiously waits for Ben to arrive.  When he shows up, Alison does her best to keep the conversation going and explains that she has some things she wants to address with Ben.  Before she can get a chance, Ben reveals to Alison that he is married and that he has just left his wife.  Alison explains that she already knew this information and that she is “done being a woman you lie to your wife about.”  After all, Alison has already lived through this before and she knows that “it doesn’t end well.”  Ben opens up to Alison and tells her about his time as a soldier in Afghanistan and how he killed a kid by mistake, which has left him with a never-ending hole of guilt, weighing down on his conscience constantly.  He explains that he was not the same person when he returned and this impacted everything, including his marriage.  Alison compassionately listens to him, understanding what it means to walk around with that pain every day.

4

“Don’t mess with my heart, OK?”

Ben agrees to fix Alison’s sink even after she tells him she can’t see him anymore and then she agrees to make him dinner.  It seems like their break-up is amenable and I instantly began to question everything since we know that this is not the story that Ben told Cole and Noah.  Ben asks Alison to dance with him and Alison asks him, “What happens to us?  The ones who can’t be forgiven.”  Ben answers that he wants to live and the two share a kiss.  He asks Alison what she wants and she gives in to Ben and begins kissing him back.  This leads to them making love and it seems like everything is perfect between them now.  Only it’s too perfect and now we know why.

3

“Tell me the truth.”

Alison is cleaning up in the kitchen and hears a knock at the door.  The rain is still pouring outside and she looks down at the sink, which is now broken again.  When she opens the door, Ben is standing there and part two from Alison’s perspective begins.  One of the reasons why I adore this show so much is because we get to see things from different perspectives.  Usually each story has its own version or variation of the truth, but we ultimately get to peek into the hearts and minds of our favorite characters.  When part two opened up with Alison again, I realized that the first part was merely a dream or a fantasy of what could be.  Reality was now at the door and I was on the edge of my seat, fearing for the worst.  When Alison tells Ben she needs to talk to him, he is no longer kind and gentle like in the first part.  He tells her never to stand him up again and is clearly angry and on edge.  Ben begins drinking when he tells Alison about his time in Afghanistan, which now reveals that Ben knew that the kid he killed was not holding a real weapon.  Alison tries to ask him why he would do this and his anger begins to escalate even further.

2

“I don’t owe you a thing.”

We know that Ben has a problem with drinking and his behavior begins to become erratic.  He breaks down when Alison tells him to leave and cries in her lap and begs her to be with him.  Alison has had enough; however, and is ready to embrace the strong woman within.  She tells Ben she knows that he is married and it’s like a new darkness comes over Ben.  He is now suddenly calmer, but the danger is nowhere near gone.  He tells Alison that she better not tell his wife, threatening her.  Alison tells him that she won’t if he leaves and he turns everything around on her.  Ben tells Alison that she broke up other marriages and that he will only leave if she admits that this is her fault.  Alison stays strong and tells Ben, “I don’t owe you a thing.”  While I was so proud of Alison in this moment, I feared what would happen next.  Ben attacks Alison and hits her over the head.  As the blood rushes down on Alison’s face, her life began pouring out of her.  While I was hoping to be wrong about Ben, the reality of him being Alison’s murderer became painfully obvious when I realized that there were no other characters in this episode at the beginning of part two.

1

“I just want to live a different life.  I want to live a different story.”

At the end of the episode, we see Ben dumping Alison’s body into the ocean by the rocks.  Alison’s last monologue is heard, which is beyond heartbreaking.  Alison talks about wanting to live a different life or story so that she could be someone who could be happy.  She took Helen’s advice and finally tried to be strong and stand up for herself, but Ben refused to allow her the chance at a fresh start.  We see Alison’s body sinking to the bottom of the ocean, as this life is over for her.  In this moment, I wanted nothing more for Alison than for her to get another chance.  She has been through so much loss and pain along the way and it seems beyond unfair that her story ends just when she was starting to fight for the spark of life that had been trapped away for so long.  This episode was compelling and dark, revealing the ugliness that can lurk beneath the surface.  Alison was not perfect and she was completely aware of this, but she didn’t deserve what happened to her and I am hoping that Cole gets the chance to bring Ben to justice.  While Alison’s story may be over, Cole’s love for her will not burn out, keeping her memory alive.  Farewell Alison.  You deserved better.  Stay tuned!

I hope you enjoyed the list and feel free to post your own theories and thoughts on The Affair below in the comments section.  Thanks so much for reading and happy viewing!

Best,

Amy Koto, TV Fanatic Girl

@TV_Fanatic_Girl

If you enjoyed this blog, I would love it if you would click the follow button on your way out to subscribe.  Thanks for your support! 

I am so excited to announce that my book is now available!  If you enjoy fairy-tale retellings, paranormal romance, horror, and mystery, then this might be the book for you or someone you know!  Thank you for taking the time to check it out and I appreciate any feedback as well.  I hope you enjoy!

When Kallie Bennett, a jaded teenage girl plagued by her alcoholic mother and her peers molded out of sheer bubble gum perfection, chases after Alice in Wonderland herself, she ends up lost in her own version of Wonderland, which forces her to face her utmost fears and introduces her to familiar characters with a dark twist. Among these characters is Ches, a gorgeous vampire with a conflicted conscience, who becomes Kallie’s guide and blossoming love interest. She also crosses paths with Queen Hartley, a manipulative witch who has the power to strip away one’s memories and imagination, which brings a bone chilling new meaning to “off with their heads.” In The Search for Alice, Kallie starts to realize that her Wonderland is just as frightening as her own reality and that she cannot always run away from her problems. She must figure out a way to defeat Queen Hartley and return home before it is too late, but she soon learns that escaping Wonderland means leaving Ches behind forever.

Want to read more?  You can click the link directly below for a free preview.  Thanks for your support!

Free Instant Preview of The Search for Alice is available here!

The Search for Alice is available here!

The Search for Alice Cover

 

Ranking the top 5 moments from “The Affair” season 4 episode 8: “We Need to Know that it’s the Real Her”

Happy Monday TV fans!  After watching Showtime’s The Affair last night, I realized that sometimes you spend so much time being strong for everyone else, that you almost forget to take a moment to let the grief and pain in.  Even if it is just for a moment, sometimes you need to allow all of your feelings to rush straight to the surface.  Whether this leads to crying or yelling, it doesn’t matter.  What matters is that you take the time to allow yourself to dive into your own feelings.  This doesn’t make you weak or selfish.  It just makes you human and it’s important that we process our feelings every now and again.  Please note major spoilers are ahead if you have not gotten a chance to watch the latest episode yet.  In last night’s episode, “408,” Cole, Noah, and Anton set out to find Alison and solve this mystery once and for all.  While these three bond along the way, nothing can prepare them for the discovery they are about to make.  My top 5 moments from The Affair season 4 episode 8 are:

5

“I want you to understand the hole that you left in her life.”

Part one of the episode is from Cole’s perspective and he teams up with Noah and Anton to find Alison.  After speaking to Alison’s mother, Athena, Cole learns about Alison’s father and decides to pay him a visit.  Noah insists that they take a polite approach so that they open up to them, but Cole cannot sit there and listen to Alison’s father judge her, especially when he talks about her “episodes.”  Cole reminds him that he hasn’t been there for her entire life and that he doesn’t know anything about Alison.  Cole refuses to let Alison’s father take advantage of her, remembering how Alison always felt like it was her fault that her father wasn’t around.  I have to say that I was also rooting for Cole in this moment, as it seems like her father was only out to use Alison, but we will need to wait and see if there is more to the story.

4

“What are you two doing together?”

So I never thought that I would see Noah and Cole working together on anything, but their love for Alison brought them together.  Anton added some comic relief as well, which gave the episode a lighter feel at first.  Even though the episode takes a dramatic twist, it was hilarious to see both Noah and Cole point out what works for the other in terms of getting women.  While Noah refers to Cole as a “classic moper,” Cole takes things further when he explains that Noah will make promises that he can’t keep.  Anton refuses to let them ruin the mood and schools them both when he “sexiles” Noah from the hotel room after he meets up with the owner’s daughter.  After barely escaping another disaster when her father pounds on the door, these three enjoy some male bonding, which helps keep their minds off the inevitable…at least temporarily.

3

“We need to know that it’s the real her…you do it.”

Cole and Noah are shocked when they find out that a body has been discovered.  Cole is barely able to process his own grief and refuses to look at the pictures to identify Alison’s body.  He wants to be brought to her actual body, but is warned that she drowned and was left underwater for several days.  When they finally approach the room, Cole cannot handle this and Noah courageously offers to identify her.  Cole’s reaction to Noah’s confirmation is beyond heartbreaking.  I have to admit that I was hoping that it would not be Alison and that we still had a mystery to unfold, but there is still more to the story.  Even though Cole cannot stand Noah, he genuinely appreciates that he was able to do this for him, as they are both connected forever to the memory of the woman they both loved so much.

2

“I don’t buy it.”

After receiving the heartbreaking news that Alison is dead, Cole refuses to believe that it is a suicide.  I have to say I agree with Cole, as it’s unlikely that Alison would leave Joanie especially when it seemed like she was finally getting her life back into some type of order.  While Cole tries to blame Ben, he has an alibi and explains that Alison broke up with him.  Cole is still not buying it, but I am starting to think that perhaps her father or his new wife had something to do with it.  We know that Alison was not about to hand her kidney over, especially after Athena tells her that she was raped by him.  Is it possible that they tried to take matters into their own hands?  While I’m not certain that this is true, it seems like Alison had such a great conversation with Helen and was finally ready to start changing her narrative.  So what changed when she returned from California?

1

Part two:  Noah.

I was surprised to see “Part Two” pop up on the screen, as the episode was almost over at this point.  There was so much going on that I almost forgot that the show was divided into separate parts.  However, this part was absolutely necessary and extremely moving.  The majority of the episode focuses so much on Cole’s own grief, as he desperately tries to find out what happened to Alison.  Noah was strong for Cole the entire time, but when he goes to the diner with Anton, he finally has a moment to himself.  Noah sees a woman in a waitress uniform that resembles Alison and all of his memories and feelings come rushing back.  When Anton goes to the restroom, Noah begins quietly sobbing at the table and I was crying right along with him.  While Noah may have confessed to Cole that his relationship with Alison was over, that doesn’t mean that he didn’t have something real with her.  The two of them shared a connection for many years and he clearly cared for Alison very much.  Noah did his part for Cole, but in this quiet and temporary moment, he is able to finally release his grief.  This moment was heartbreaking and I empathized with Noah completely.  Will Noah be able to pick up the pieces now that Alison is gone?  Will we finally find out what happened to her?  Stay tuned!

I hope you enjoyed the list and feel free to post your own theories and thoughts on The Affair below in the comments section.  Thanks so much for reading and happy viewing!

Best,

Amy Koto, TV Fanatic Girl

@TV_Fanatic_Girl

If you enjoyed this blog, I would love it if you would click the follow button on your way out to subscribe.  Thanks for your support! 

I am so excited to announce that my book, The Search for Alice, is now available!  If you enjoy fairy-tale retellings, paranormal romance, and mystery, then this might be the book for you or someone you know!  Thank you for taking the time to check it out and I appreciate any feedback as well.  I hope you enjoy!

When Kallie Bennett, a jaded teenage girl plagued by her alcoholic mother and her peers molded out of sheer bubble gum perfection, chases after Alice in Wonderland herself, she ends up lost in her own version of Wonderland, which forces her to face her utmost fears and introduces her to familiar characters with a dark twist. Among these characters is Ches, a gorgeous vampire with a conflicted conscience, who becomes Kallie’s guide and blossoming love interest. She also crosses paths with Queen Hartley, a manipulative witch who has the power to strip away one’s memories and imagination, which brings a bone chilling new meaning to “off with their heads.” In The Search for Alice, Kallie starts to realize that her Wonderland is just as frightening as her own reality and that she cannot always run away from her problems. She must figure out a way to defeat Queen Hartley and return home before it is too late, but she soon learns that escaping Wonderland means leaving Ches behind forever.

Want to read more?  You can click the link directly below for a free preview.  Thanks for your support!

Free Instant Preview of The Search for Alice is available here!

The Search for Alice is available here

The Search for Alice Cover