Ranking the top 5 moments from “The Affair” season 5 episode 11: “The Whole Of The Moon”

Happy Sunday TV fans!  After watching Showtime’s The Affair season 5 episode 11 series finale, the show has come full circle, reminding us that sometimes “time has a habit of making big things seem small,” but when all is said and done, it’s about the moments of love that you truly remember.  Please note spoilers are ahead if you have not gotten a chance to watch the latest episode yet.  

In tonight’s episode, “511,” the Solloway family prepares for Whitney’s wedding day.  Meanwhile, Joanie returns to The Lobster Roll and crosses paths with a surprising stranger.  My top 5 moments from The Affair season 5 episode 11 series finale are:

5

“There is such a thing as forgiveness.”

In the series finale, the parts no longer appear, but we still get to see sections marked for Noah, Helen, Joanie, and Whitney.  As Joanie tries to decide what to do next, EJ tells her he wants her to run away with him, revealing that he is actually Sierra’s grown up son, Eddie.  I have to say that I actually didn’t make that connection before and I thought this was an interesting twist.

Even though EJ may not be Joanie’s epic love, he did help her on this journey, reminding her that it is possible to choose love over trauma.  It looks like Joanie is going to have to make her next decisions for herself, but I thought that EJ was an important part of her journey and I appreciated the connection.

4

“I just want you to be happy.”

During Helen’s section, Whitney continues to be very difficult on her wedding day.  Whitney sticks to her decision and doesn’t want Noah there on her big day, but Helen is trying to figure out why she is even there.  Helen’s mother walks in and there is a lot of tension between them all, but when it comes down to it, they all care about one another and show up when it matters.

Helen tells her daughter that she looks perfect and I loved seeing her hold Whitney’s hand while walking her down the aisle.  Even though Whitney has been very hard on her mother, claiming she doesn’t want to be like her, they both finally put everything aside here and just focus on this moment of happiness, which was simple and well done.

3

“My parents were an odd couple.”

I thought it was beyond adorable that Noah remembered Whitney talking about a flash mob surprise at her wedding and actually followed through on it to make her happy, even though he wouldn’t be at the wedding to see it.  The flash mob was done to the song, “The Whole Of The Moon,” which you can listen to below!

The dance really made me smile and it was well received by Whitney, but she is shocked when she later finds out that her dad put everything together.  I was so happy that Whitney had a change of heart, deciding to get her whole family together to go surprise their dad with some wedding cake.  Even Bruce’s moment in the spotlight to provide them with a distraction was amazing.

Things get a little bit awkward when they show up and Whitney discovers that Helen is in there too, making up for lost time with Noah.  And so, they all gather outside to eat the wedding cake.  This moment was a little strange, but I was glad that Whitney finally realized that her father has been there for her the whole time even though he has made some past mistakes.

Even though the show focuses so much on Noah and his decisions with the women in his life, there has always been this element of family present and I thought it was important that his whole family was back together here.

2

“You were her whole life.”

After Joanie discovers that Noah was the old man she was talking to at The Lobster Roll, she returns to finish their conversation.  This conversation was so important and meaningful for Joanie and it really helped fill in some blanks.  Noah talks about how he respected Cole and how Cole always suspected that Ben killed Alison, which Joanie was not aware of.

Noah also tells Joanie about how much Alison changed, feeling everything so deeply, and how much she truly cared for Joanie.  Joanie spent so much of her life not knowing the whole story, but she now finally gets to see her mother through Noah’s eyes.

Joanie’s journey is not over; however, as she makes the decision to return to her husband and family, realizing that she has the chance to make things right and I think this was the right call.

Overall, I enjoyed learning about Joanie’s character and I thought this was a clever way to allow Cole and Alison’s story to continue as well, even though they were both not a part of the final season.  Like Noah said, sometimes the children need to finish the journey their parents started.

1

“Will you dance with me on our daughter’s wedding day?”

During Whitney’s wedding, Helen attempts to send Noah the video of the flash mob, but ends up deciding to bring it to him in person.  Helen opens up to Noah and says that she feels like she isn’t really present anywhere, revealing that she does still love him.

Maybe these two aren’t necessarily good for each other, but they both have a lot of love for one another and their family.  Noah asks Helen to dance with him, which was probably one of the sweetest moments I have witnessed with them and they end up reconciling.

In the future, we see Noah reading Stacey’s novel to Helen at her grave, suggesting that these two have been present in each other’s lives until the very end of their journey.  Helen’s name appears as Solloway on her tombstone, which implies that they were married again, but I guess that’s up to the viewer’s interpretation.

We are left with Noah hiking up to the bluffs, deciding to whip out the flash mob dance again after all these years, finally smiling.  It looks like Noah Solloway has redeemed himself, discovering who he really is while re-connecting with the ones in his life who matter the most.

Overall, I thought this was an emotional and well done series finale.  I shed quite a few tears and I appreciated how everything came full circle.  It’s interesting how this show has transformed over the seasons.  While I still prefer the first two seasons of the show, I think that season 5 did a great job of summing everything up, while reminding us to focus on the moments of love that truly matter in the end.

I hope you enjoyed the list and feel free to post your own theories and thoughts on The Affair below in the comments section.  Thanks so much for reading and happy viewing!

Best,

Amy Koto, TV Fanatic Girl

**Do you love television shows like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Once Upon a Time, Lost, Charmed, The Vampire Diaries, and Supernatural?  Do you enjoy dark fantasy, fairy-tale retellings, paranormal romance, horror, and mystery?  Then you may like my book series, Dreaming of Wonderland…available on Amazon!  Thank you for taking the time to check it out and I appreciate any feedback as well.  I really hope you enjoy!

The Dreaming of Wonderland Book Series is available here!

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Ranking the top 5 moments from “The Affair” season 5 episode 10: “If You Fall, I’ll Catch You”

Happy Sunday TV fans!  After watching Showtime’s The Affair season 5 episode 10, Noah was reminded that “if you move you live, if you stay you die,” but he truly puts this saying to the test when he and Helen wind up in a very dangerous situation.  Please note spoilers are ahead if you have not gotten a chance to watch the latest episode yet.

In tonight’s episode, “510,” the wildfire continues to spread, as Helen and Noah are forced to evacuate before it is too late.  Meanwhile, Whitney refuses to forgive her father and Noah takes a trip down memory lane, bringing everything full circle.  My top 5 moments from The Affair season 5 episode 10 are:

5

“I would do anything to undo what happened.”

Part one of the episode follows Helen, as she tries to console her daughter, but Whitney now says that she doesn’t want Noah at her wedding.  Helen reminds Noah that he can’t run away from this and that they are a family, but is Helen co-depending on Noah too much here?

Helen continues to ask Noah about the hot tub incident, reminding him that he traumatized his daughter and failed to mention it.  Noah tells Helen that he would do anything to take it back and that he was finally getting somewhere with Whitney in Montauk, but it now seems like he is back where he started.  Let’s hope this gets resolved before the wedding…

4

“I think you and I are worth it.”

Helen ends up going to Noah’s place to find Whitney’s birth certificate and stumbles across an old letter that Noah wrote to her right before their own wedding.  Noah’s letter was truly touching, telling Helen that he was excited to spend every single day with her, grateful that she was going to be his wife.

It seemed like perhaps these two were going to find some common ground, but Noah pushes Helen away after they are told to evacuate.  Helen tells him that she hopes he burns, but it’s clear that Noah is feeling beyond defeated and depressed in this moment.  Snap out of it, Noah!

3

“Do you remember seeing him for the first time?”

Part two of the episode follows Noah and he finds a recording from Alison’s deposition.  Everything comes full circle, as Alison’s voice comes over the speaker, setting the tone as a dark and stormy night.

Alison is asked, “Do you remember seeing him for the first time?” reminding me of the question that started it all, hooking me on to the show in the first place.  We are presented with several flashbacks of Noah meeting Alison and some of Noah with Helen as well, as Noah remembers from the recording what it was like to be happy.

There was a time that he was happy with both Helen and Alison at different times and perhaps he needs to remember that he still has a chance to find that happiness again.  The concept of family comes up several times throughout the episode and I think this is what Noah really needs to focus on in order to truly be redeemed.

2

“I need you.”

Part three of the episode is from Noah and Helen’s perspective and I think this might be the first time we see a joint section.  Noah hears from a neighbor that the fire is spreading very quickly and Noah rushes out to go and help Helen.  Helen initially wants to stay in the car, but Noah says that they have to move, recognizing the immediate danger they are in.

They end up hiking to get to a fire route Noah knows about, but get stuck at a cliff.  Noah is able to climb down and coaches Helen through it, proving to be somewhat of a hero here.  Although Helen is clearly sick of his “movement is life” motto.

After avoiding this disaster, these two actually take some time to be open and honest with one another.  I think this may be the first time I have witnessed such an honest conversation on both sides, which I thought was necessary since we are approaching the end of the series.

1

“Hi friend.”

Part four of the episode is from Noah’s perspective.  Right before this, Helen ends up bit by a rattle snake to make things even more dramatic, but Noah refuses to leave her side, actually carrying her down the road.  Luckily, they are picked up by an emergency vehicle and it looks like Helen is going to be all right.  Phew!  When Helen wakes up, she says, “Hi friend,” to Noah.

These two have certainly been on quite the adventure, but I thought this journey was more about their own lives together.  They revisit who they used to be and who they are now, reminding us that perhaps there is still a new path for their family that includes both of them.

How will it all end?  Stay tuned for the series finale next week!

I hope you enjoyed the list and feel free to post your own theories and thoughts on The Affair below in the comments section.  Thanks so much for reading and happy viewing!

Best,

Amy Koto, TV Fanatic Girl

**Do you love television shows like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Once Upon a Time, Lost, Charmed, The Vampire Diaries, and Supernatural?  Do you enjoy dark fantasy, fairy-tale retellings, paranormal romance, horror, and mystery?  Then you may like my book series, Dreaming of Wonderland…available on Amazon!  Thank you for taking the time to check it out and I appreciate any feedback as well.  I really hope you enjoy!

The Dreaming of Wonderland Book Series is available here!

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Free Instant Preview of The Search for Alice is available here!

**If you enjoyed this blog, I would love it if you would click the follow button on your way out to subscribe.  Thanks for your support!

Ranking the top 5 moments from “The Affair” season 5 episode 7: “She Needs Someone to Blame”

Happy Sunday TV fans!  After watching Showtime’s The Affair season 5 episode 7, I realized that it’s never easy making amends.  Maybe we make progress and help others around us, but what happens when unfinished business from our past surfaces in the present?  Are we still able to push the reset button or do we discover that perhaps we haven’t really learned anything from our past mistakes?  Please note spoilers are ahead if you have not gotten a chance to watch the latest episode yet.  

In tonight’s episode, “507,” Noah helps Whitney prepare for her upcoming wedding and runs into an old friend.  Meanwhile, Joanie comes face-to-face with Benjamin Cruz, but will she get justice or will she wind up in even more pain?  My top 5 moments from The Affair season 5 episode 7 are:

5

“Let’s at least try.”

Part one of the episode follows Noah, as he goes with Whitney to Montauk, helping her with her upcoming wedding.  They arrive at Helen’s parents’ house and Bruce is getting worse and worse.  He doesn’t know who Noah is, which is clearly putting a lot of stress on Helen’s mother.  When the bills start adding up for the wedding, Whitney seems defeated and stressed, but Noah tries to remain calm and says they can figure this out, attempting to make things right for his daughter.

4

“End of an era…”

Noah and Whitney decide to stop at the Lobster Roll, but they discover that it is very different, as the new owners seem to have a different vision for it.  I have to say that the restaurant certainly lost its charm and it looks like everyone is not as friendly as they used to be.  This place clearly brings up some memories for Noah, as he reveals to Whitney that this is the place where he first met Alison. 

Noah and Whitney bump into Luisa, who is leaving for New York.  Noah finds out that she and Cole are separated and that Joanie is going to live with Cole in Vermont.  Noah wants to say goodbye to Joanie, but doesn’t make it there in time, but this does close the loop on a few questions I had about Cole during present day.

3

“You’re trying to make amends.”

I have to say that I was really impressed with Noah during this episode.  He really puts Whitney first and tries to make her wedding special for her, ultimately just wanting her to be happy.  Whitney confides in her father about her own affair and Noah tries to shed some light on his own past, but this is difficult since it involves their family.

Right before Noah’s part ends, we discover that Eden is claiming that Noah coerced her into a sexual relationship and he receives a call from Vanity Fair about it, which means that Noah’s past is about to come crashing into his present, but is he prepared to deal with his prior actions and take some real responsibility?  Even though Eden is probably trying to get something out of this, Noah is not completely innocent either so it will be interesting to see how this all unfolds.

2

“So glad you are finally here…”

Part two of the episode is from Joanie’s perspective and she finally tracks down Benjamin Cruz.  Joanie says her name is Gabrielle and claims she suffers from PTSD.  Ben seems to recognize Joanie when she takes off her sunglasses, but he plays along.  They even try out EMDR therapy, which is part of what brought Ben and Alison together in the first place.

After the charade is up, Joanie asks Ben if he killed her mother and he says, “Yes.”  Ben is not hiding anything from Joanie at this point and asks her, “Have you ever met someone who looked at you…all of you…even the savage parts and they didn’t flinch?”  Ben claims to have truly connected with Alison and he says what happened was an accident.  Ben wants Joanie to decide his fate now and he seems to be truly sorry, but I’m not buying it and neither should Joanie.

1

“You can’t touch me now.”

After talking it over with EJ, Joanie decides to call the authorities and they head out to see Ben, but he’s ready for them and says that Joanie is actually his patient.  When Joanie signed a paper, she actually signed a release to be a patient and he plays back parts of the recording where Joanie described how she wanted to brutally kill Ben. 

No one will believe Joanie now and she ends up attacking Ben, but he defends himself and then begins choking her.  Ben realizes that Joanie wants him to put her out of her pain, but does not kill her.

While Joanie has now finally discovered the truth by facing the man who killed her mother, she does not obtain the closure she was looking for, but I’m hoping that there is a way to still bring Ben to justice somehow for Alison and for Joanie.  Stay tuned!

I hope you enjoyed the list and feel free to post your own theories and thoughts on The Affair below in the comments section.  Thanks so much for reading and happy viewing!

Best,

Amy Koto, TV Fanatic Girl

**Do you love television shows like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Once Upon a Time, Lost, Charmed, The Vampire Diaries, and Supernatural?  Do you enjoy dark fantasy, fairy-tale retellings, paranormal romance, horror, and mystery?  Then you may like my book series, Dreaming of Wonderland…available on Amazon!  Thank you for taking the time to check it out and I appreciate any feedback as well.  I really hope you enjoy!

The Dreaming of Wonderland Book Series is available here!

Dreaming of Wonderland Series Blog

Free Instant Preview of The Search for Alice is available here!

**If you enjoyed this blog, I would love it if you would click the follow button on your way out to subscribe.  Thanks for your support!

Ranking the top 5 moments from “The Affair” season 5 episode 6: “I Think He Killed Her”

Happy Sunday TV fans!  After watching Showtime’s The Affair season 5 episode 6, I learned that there can be an ongoing game of tug of war between resilience and trauma.  Is it possible to channel trauma to become even stronger or are we destined to be broken, repeating the fate of our parents?  Please note spoilers are ahead if you have not gotten a chance to watch the latest episode yet.

In tonight’s episode, “506,” Joanie meets a man named EJ, who has been studying the Lockhart family history for quite some time.  As Joanie uncovers new information behind her mother’s suicide, she begins to realize that perhaps there was more to it.  My top 5 moments from The Affair season 5 episode 6 are:

5

“If you touch me, I’ll stab you.”

Part one of the episode follows Joanie and I was really happy that part one lasted for the entire episode, as Joanie has deserved some screen time for a while now.  We catch up with Joanie in the cemetery and she meets a stranger named EJ.  After being momentarily creeped out by his staring, EJ offers to give Joanie a ride and she hesitantly accepts.

EJ studies family histories and is very interested in the Lockhart family tree, explaining that he has a theory on trauma running in families.  When he finds out who Joanie is, he is starstruck for sure, but Joanie doesn’t seem to be too interested in what he has to say just yet.  That is, until she finds out that she is taking samples at the place where her mother died.

4

“There’s no way she could have drowned herself in water that shallow.”

After parting ways with EJ temporarily after viewing some old police records, EJ calls her and says he has something to show her.  The two watch a breathtaking super moon in the sky, which ends up triggering something within Joanie.  Joanie brings up the data on the super moon from the night Alison drowned and realizes that the water where she drowned was extremely shallow, like a bathtub.

This brings up some questions about her death, but Joanie doesn’t seem quite ready to process it, as she decides to sleep with EJ, trying to turn everything off.  EJ questions her about her fetish for being choked and becomes a little bit too talkative, which prevents Joanie from truly losing herself…but perhaps she needed this to actually start dealing with the emotions swirling around inside of her.

3

“Are you sure it was suicide?”

Joanie returns home the next day, but seems extremely irritable and distracted.  Joanie’s mom comes to visit and we learn that she is referring to…Luisa!  Remember her?  Even though I was never a fan of Cole and Luisa’s relationship, I was happy to discover that Luisa remained in Joanie’s life even after she and Cole split up because Joanie needed a lot of support.

Luisa tells Joanie that Cole was the most determined person she ever met and that Joanie reminds her of him in so many ways.  Joanie proceeds to tell Luisa that she feels like Alison ruined everything, but it’s clear that she is unable to process the grief that is taking over right now.

2

“He could do anything.”

After having a meltdown over her oxygen garden failure, Joanie panics and tells her husband, Paul, that she has been cheating on him for years.  Paul tells her to get out and Joanie ends up on EJ’s doorstep.  She opens up to EJ about her father and we learn that Cole died of a heart attack at age 72.

Joanie blames herself because she thinks that if her father was not alone, he would still be alive.  EJ tries to get Joanie to talk about her father, recognizing that she is not allowing herself to feel anything and she tells him that Cole could do anything, bringing up some touching and heartwarming memories.

1

“I don’t know who the hell Benjamin Cruz is…”

EJ shows Joanie Cole’s box of letters, which he rescued from the trash, and shows Joanie some newspaper clippings about Benjamin Cruz.  Joanie initially doesn’t recognize him and I was laughing at EJ’s theory about him being Cole’s lover, but Joanie has a memory about the day she met Ben Cruz, as we see a flashback accompanied with Alison’s voice over.  Joanie wakes up suddenly and tells EJ that she remembers that Ben Cruz was her mother’s boyfriend and says, “I think he killed her,” as all of the pieces start to come together now.

Will Joanie be able to uncover the truth?  I can’t wait to find out!  I’ve been waiting for this episode since the new season started and I thought that it was brilliantly done, giving us the chance to truly understand Joanie and allowing Alison and Cole’s memory to still be present and relevant.  Joanie’s coming for you, Ben!  Look out!

Justice for Alison Bailey!

I hope you enjoyed the list and feel free to post your own theories and thoughts on The Affair below in the comments section.  Thanks so much for reading and happy viewing!

Best,

Amy Koto, TV Fanatic Girl

**Do you love television shows like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Once Upon a Time, Lost, Charmed, The Vampire Diaries, and Supernatural?  Do you enjoy dark fantasy, fairy-tale retellings, paranormal romance, horror, and mystery?  Then you may like my book series, Dreaming of Wonderland…available on Amazon!  Thank you for taking the time to check it out and I appreciate any feedback as well.  I really hope you enjoy!

The Dreaming of Wonderland Book Series is available here!

Dreaming of Wonderland Series Blog

Free Instant Preview of The Search for Alice is available here!

**If you enjoyed this blog, I would love it if you would click the follow button on your way out to subscribe.  Thanks for your support!

Ranking the top 5 moments from “The Affair” season 4 episode 10 Season Finale: “We are just so Lucky to be Alive”

Happy Sunday TV fans!  After watching Showtime’s The Affair, I realized that life can be messy and unpredictable.  Sometimes the big moments all happen at once and sometimes we don’t even see them coming.  We can’t ever truly prepare ourselves for these moments, but it’s important to remember that we are lucky to be alive as Noah said and that each new day can bring a glimmer of hope that things can get better.  It may take time and our pain and grief may never fade away entirely, but it’s important to keep fighting and surviving for those around us.  Please note spoilers are ahead if you have not gotten a chance to watch the latest episode yet.  In tonight’s episode, “410,” Noah tries to distract himself from his own grief by staying with Anton at Princeton, but he quickly realizes that there is somewhere else he needs to be.  Meanwhile, Cole has an extremely difficult time at Alison’s funeral and Helen tries to juggle her daughter’s return along with some shocking news from Sierra, all while Vik’s illness takes a turn for the worst.  My top 5 moments from The Affair season 4 episode 10 season finale are:

5

“You shouldn’t be here.”

Part one of the episode is from Noah’s perspective and he is still with Anton at Princeton.  Noah catches up with an old friend from school and he sits in on her writing class.  The students are beyond excited to meet Noah and tell him that he is the reason why they became writers and Noah explains that writing characters is all about listening to people.  Anton has truly perfected this difficult task when he reads his piece about a character that is a contradiction and describes Noah.  He starts out talking about how Noah is an inspiration and someone who truly wants to teach and be there for his students, but things take an unexpected turn when he then says, “He believes in my future…also he’s fucking my mother.”  Noah is upset at Anton and asks him why he would do that after all he has done for him.  Anton has certainly reached his full potential, but we know that Noah has a difficult time taking a good look in the mirror sometimes.  While he was initially upset with Anton’s words, he quickly realizes where Anton is coming from and appreciates when he says that he is sorry about Alison.  Noah is asked a few times what he is doing there and he finally realizes that it’s time to leave and deal with what has happened to Alison.  Anton thanks Noah for everything he has done for him and I have to say that it’s about time Noah has had a true connection with someone.  He may have trouble finding happiness with the women in his life, but he believed in Anton and helped him get on the right path.

4

“Can you please stop calling me Helen?”

“Surprise!”  Whitney is back with her boyfriend and is ready to stir things up per usual.  Helen is very happy to see her daughter, but she has been dealing with a lot of stress and Vik has been in the hospital because of an infection.  Helen does her best to tell Whitney about everything, but Whitney makes everything about her, proving that she hasn’t really changed very much since we last saw her.  Whitney attacks her mother and says, “I have my shit together, why can’t you?”  As if this moment wasn’t already chaotic enough, Sierra stops by with a “white butterfly,” and tells Helen that she needs to talk to her.  The phone then rings and Vik’s mother tells Helen that Vik is not doing well, as the whirlwind of stress escalates even further.  It’s understandable that Helen is having a difficult time coping with all of this at once and she manages to keep her dry sense of humor through it all, making me cheer for her that much more.

3

“How could you of all people be gone?”

In part two, we see everything from Cole’s perspective, as he prepares for Alison’s funeral.  We do get to hear Noah’s words about Alison at the service which are very moving and heartbreaking.  Noah says, “You were magic, you were light…you were wild, you were brave.  You made me see the world with new eyes…with wonder.”  Noah’s words were so romantic and moving.  While Cole has a difficult time finding the words, Noah paints a beautiful picture of Alison Bailey.  We see several old characters at the service like Oscar and Jane and even Ben makes a surprise guest appearance.  While this was very unsettling for me, Noah’s words really impacted me and I think he was able to speak for Cole as well, who is more about action rather than words.  We all grieve in our own way, but Alison was truly someone special and she will be missed by everyone.

2

“I was too late.  I am always too late.”

During the funeral for Alison, Cole is very upset with Athena, knowing that Alison would truly hate the idea of her ashes being scattered into the ocean.  When it is Cole’s time to speak, he grabs the urn and runs away from everyone and everything.  He ends up at Gabriel’s grave and sits there for quite a while.  Noah goes to speak to him and tries to remind him that he is not the only one who loved her and that this moment was important for Athena.  Later on, Cherry goes to see her son and Cole confides in her that he was coming back for Alison, but that he was too late, which is beyond heartbreaking.  Cherry lost her own husband to suicide and tries to explain that life is very messy and that she understands the desire to want to take control, but that we can’t always do so in every situation.  Cherry explains that it takes time, but the pain may never truly disappear.  However, she talks about Cole being a survivor and a fighter and more importantly, being there for Joanie.  Cole and Luisa recognize that their relationship is over, but Cole wants to keep their marriage intact on paper so that she can get her citizenship and because she is an important person in Joanie’s life.  While I’m not sure if this will go according to plan, Cole takes the time to take Joanie on a road trip away from everything.  When he talks about death, he explains that people believe in different things and Joanie asks him what he believes.  In a touching moment, Cole explains to his daughter that whenever she misses her mother, all she has to do is think about her and she will always be with her.  This moment is truly important, as Cole takes his mother’s advice, understanding that there is no easy fix to this situation, but his purpose now is to be there for his daughter no matter what.

1

“We are just so lucky to be alive.”

Part three of the episode is from Helen’s perspective.  After being shut out of the hospital room for not having a visitor’s pass, Helen finds out that Sierra is pregnant with Vik’s baby and is beyond shocked.  Helen needs a moment away from everyone and confides in Noah.  Helen tells Noah that she doesn’t know if she truly loves Vik the way she is supposed to; especially since it is not the way she loved Noah.  The two continue to confide in each other about Alison and Vik and how they ended up where they are now.  When Helen explains that she thinks she is broken and that Vik deserves better, Noah refuses to let her say this about herself.  While he starts out telling Helen that she is snobby and overbearing, the compliment soon emerges when he says, “I don’t know anyone who’s tougher than you.”  Helen is touched by this and Noah takes it a step further when he says that if he was dying, he would want Helen by his side.  Helen and Noah have come so far and have had so many ups and downs, but this moment was truly something significant for me.  Through it all, these two are still connected and have a bond and friendship that surpasses everything.  While it may not be right for the two of them to be together romantically anymore, it’s clear that they both still care about one another very much.  Noah’s words to Helen clearly help her, as she goes to see Vik and simply whispers to him over and over again, “I love you.”  Helen knows that this is what Vik needs to hear, especially since he began breaking down that he should have listened to her about treatment and that he is not ready to die.  Helen courageously goes to get Sierra in the waiting room and says, “Tell him now.”  Helen understands that this is something that could truly help Vik, proving to be someone who is selfless and caring.  The end of the episode reveals Helen walking up on the rooftop of the building, staring out at the sun and the city.  While I was initially confused and anxious about this scene, I took it as Helen finally opening her eyes and embracing a new day and a life full of possibilities, truly connecting with the concept that she is lucky to be alive.  There are still so many open doors left to explore in this series and I am beyond excited to see the conclusion in season 5.  Stay tuned!

I hope you enjoyed the list and feel free to post your own theories and thoughts on The Affair below in the comments section.  Thanks so much for reading and happy viewing!

Best,

Amy Koto, TV Fanatic Girl

@TV_Fanatic_Girl

If you enjoyed this blog, I would love it if you would click the follow button on your way out to subscribe.  Thanks for your support! 

I am so excited to announce that my book, The Search for Alice, is now available!  If you enjoy fairy-tale retellings, paranormal romance, horror, and mystery, then this might be the book for you or someone you know!  Thank you for taking the time to check it out and I appreciate any feedback as well.  I hope you enjoy!

When Kallie Bennett, a jaded teenage girl plagued by her alcoholic mother and her peers molded out of sheer bubble gum perfection, chases after Alice in Wonderland herself, she ends up lost in her own version of Wonderland, which forces her to face her utmost fears and introduces her to familiar characters with a dark twist. Among these characters is Ches, a gorgeous vampire with a conflicted conscience, who becomes Kallie’s guide and blossoming love interest. She also crosses paths with Queen Hartley, a manipulative witch who has the power to strip away one’s memories and imagination, which brings a bone chilling new meaning to “off with their heads.” In The Search for Alice, Kallie starts to realize that her Wonderland is just as frightening as her own reality and that she cannot always run away from her problems. She must figure out a way to defeat Queen Hartley and return home before it is too late, but she soon learns that escaping Wonderland means leaving Ches behind forever.

Want to read more?  You can click the link directly below for a free preview.  Thanks for your support!

Free Instant Preview of The Search for Alice is available here!

The Search for Alice is available here!

The Search for Alice Cover

Ranking the top 5 moments from “The Affair” season 4 episode 9: “I Just Want To Live A Different Life”

Happy Monday TV fans!  After watching Showtime’s The Affair last night, I realized that it is never too late to try and change our own story.  Alison Bailey is proof of that.  Over the years, Alison has been broken, like a wounded bird, desperately trying to cling to some kind of temporary moment of bliss.  Even though Alison began to make real changes in her life, her true metamorphosis occurred when she took Helen’s advice and decided to change her narrative, refusing to let men treat her a certain way.  That made this episode even more tragic, dark, and heartbreaking for me.  I was so proud of Alison’s strength here, but sometimes there is a darkness in others that tries to stifle even the faintest light, dragging it deep into the ocean.  But not everything stays beneath the surface for long.  Please note major spoilers are ahead if you have not gotten a chance to watch the latest episode yet.  In last night’s episode, “409,” Alison prepares for her conversation with Ben and confronts him about his lie.  While the temptation remains, Alison focuses all of her energy on doing the right thing and finding out the truth.  Alison’s fate is finally revealed to the audience, which is both shocking and devastating.  My top 5 moments from The Affair season 4 episode 9 are:

5

“All I want is to somehow be forgiven.”

Part one of the episode is from Alison’s perspective, as she anxiously waits for Ben to arrive.  When he shows up, Alison does her best to keep the conversation going and explains that she has some things she wants to address with Ben.  Before she can get a chance, Ben reveals to Alison that he is married and that he has just left his wife.  Alison explains that she already knew this information and that she is “done being a woman you lie to your wife about.”  After all, Alison has already lived through this before and she knows that “it doesn’t end well.”  Ben opens up to Alison and tells her about his time as a soldier in Afghanistan and how he killed a kid by mistake, which has left him with a never-ending hole of guilt, weighing down on his conscience constantly.  He explains that he was not the same person when he returned and this impacted everything, including his marriage.  Alison compassionately listens to him, understanding what it means to walk around with that pain every day.

4

“Don’t mess with my heart, OK?”

Ben agrees to fix Alison’s sink even after she tells him she can’t see him anymore and then she agrees to make him dinner.  It seems like their break-up is amenable and I instantly began to question everything since we know that this is not the story that Ben told Cole and Noah.  Ben asks Alison to dance with him and Alison asks him, “What happens to us?  The ones who can’t be forgiven.”  Ben answers that he wants to live and the two share a kiss.  He asks Alison what she wants and she gives in to Ben and begins kissing him back.  This leads to them making love and it seems like everything is perfect between them now.  Only it’s too perfect and now we know why.

3

“Tell me the truth.”

Alison is cleaning up in the kitchen and hears a knock at the door.  The rain is still pouring outside and she looks down at the sink, which is now broken again.  When she opens the door, Ben is standing there and part two from Alison’s perspective begins.  One of the reasons why I adore this show so much is because we get to see things from different perspectives.  Usually each story has its own version or variation of the truth, but we ultimately get to peek into the hearts and minds of our favorite characters.  When part two opened up with Alison again, I realized that the first part was merely a dream or a fantasy of what could be.  Reality was now at the door and I was on the edge of my seat, fearing for the worst.  When Alison tells Ben she needs to talk to him, he is no longer kind and gentle like in the first part.  He tells her never to stand him up again and is clearly angry and on edge.  Ben begins drinking when he tells Alison about his time in Afghanistan, which now reveals that Ben knew that the kid he killed was not holding a real weapon.  Alison tries to ask him why he would do this and his anger begins to escalate even further.

2

“I don’t owe you a thing.”

We know that Ben has a problem with drinking and his behavior begins to become erratic.  He breaks down when Alison tells him to leave and cries in her lap and begs her to be with him.  Alison has had enough; however, and is ready to embrace the strong woman within.  She tells Ben she knows that he is married and it’s like a new darkness comes over Ben.  He is now suddenly calmer, but the danger is nowhere near gone.  He tells Alison that she better not tell his wife, threatening her.  Alison tells him that she won’t if he leaves and he turns everything around on her.  Ben tells Alison that she broke up other marriages and that he will only leave if she admits that this is her fault.  Alison stays strong and tells Ben, “I don’t owe you a thing.”  While I was so proud of Alison in this moment, I feared what would happen next.  Ben attacks Alison and hits her over the head.  As the blood rushes down on Alison’s face, her life began pouring out of her.  While I was hoping to be wrong about Ben, the reality of him being Alison’s murderer became painfully obvious when I realized that there were no other characters in this episode at the beginning of part two.

1

“I just want to live a different life.  I want to live a different story.”

At the end of the episode, we see Ben dumping Alison’s body into the ocean by the rocks.  Alison’s last monologue is heard, which is beyond heartbreaking.  Alison talks about wanting to live a different life or story so that she could be someone who could be happy.  She took Helen’s advice and finally tried to be strong and stand up for herself, but Ben refused to allow her the chance at a fresh start.  We see Alison’s body sinking to the bottom of the ocean, as this life is over for her.  In this moment, I wanted nothing more for Alison than for her to get another chance.  She has been through so much loss and pain along the way and it seems beyond unfair that her story ends just when she was starting to fight for the spark of life that had been trapped away for so long.  This episode was compelling and dark, revealing the ugliness that can lurk beneath the surface.  Alison was not perfect and she was completely aware of this, but she didn’t deserve what happened to her and I am hoping that Cole gets the chance to bring Ben to justice.  While Alison’s story may be over, Cole’s love for her will not burn out, keeping her memory alive.  Farewell Alison.  You deserved better.  Stay tuned!

I hope you enjoyed the list and feel free to post your own theories and thoughts on The Affair below in the comments section.  Thanks so much for reading and happy viewing!

Best,

Amy Koto, TV Fanatic Girl

@TV_Fanatic_Girl

If you enjoyed this blog, I would love it if you would click the follow button on your way out to subscribe.  Thanks for your support! 

I am so excited to announce that my book is now available!  If you enjoy fairy-tale retellings, paranormal romance, horror, and mystery, then this might be the book for you or someone you know!  Thank you for taking the time to check it out and I appreciate any feedback as well.  I hope you enjoy!

When Kallie Bennett, a jaded teenage girl plagued by her alcoholic mother and her peers molded out of sheer bubble gum perfection, chases after Alice in Wonderland herself, she ends up lost in her own version of Wonderland, which forces her to face her utmost fears and introduces her to familiar characters with a dark twist. Among these characters is Ches, a gorgeous vampire with a conflicted conscience, who becomes Kallie’s guide and blossoming love interest. She also crosses paths with Queen Hartley, a manipulative witch who has the power to strip away one’s memories and imagination, which brings a bone chilling new meaning to “off with their heads.” In The Search for Alice, Kallie starts to realize that her Wonderland is just as frightening as her own reality and that she cannot always run away from her problems. She must figure out a way to defeat Queen Hartley and return home before it is too late, but she soon learns that escaping Wonderland means leaving Ches behind forever.

Want to read more?  You can click the link directly below for a free preview.  Thanks for your support!

Free Instant Preview of The Search for Alice is available here!

The Search for Alice is available here!

The Search for Alice Cover

 

Ranking the top 5 moments from “The Affair” season 4 episode 6: “What If You Change The Narrative?”

Happy Monday TV fans!  After watching Showtime’s The Affair last night, I thought about the idea that it’s easier to confide in a stranger than it is to your best friend or loved one and I started to wonder why that is.  Is it because we are afraid to let our loved ones see the inner turmoil stirring around inside of us?  Is it because we don’t want to taint their image of us or is it because we need to hear the raw and simple truth?  Either way, we sometimes get the best advice from someone on the outside, but what do we do with this advice?  Do we change our narrative or do we continue to go down the same path, continuing to make the same mistakes over and over again?  Please note spoilers are ahead if you have not gotten a chance to watch the latest episode yet.  In last night’s episode, “406,” Noah and Janelle continue to grow closer when they bond over Anton’s essay.  Meanwhile, Alison meets an unexpected stranger and finds out the truth about Ben and her day continues get worse until she has a real conversation with the last person on earth you would think would be willing to help her.  My top 5 moments from The Affair season 4 episode 6 are:

5

“He saved your life.”

Part two of the episode is from Alison’s perspective and she is visiting her mother, Athena, with Joanie while Cole is away.  Alison notices that Athena gets upset after a short phone call and that her phone continues to ring.  Curiosity eats away at Alison until she finally picks up the phone and is shocked to find out the identity of the person on the other line.  Alison meets a man named James who claims he is her father.  Alison is shocked by this revelation and explains that her mother said she never knew who her real father was.  James reveals his side of the story to Alison and explains that he is the one who saved her life, putting some of the pieces together of her lost memory, which involved two strong hands pulling her out of the water.  Alison realizes that the timing of this revelation is strange and asks her father, “why now?”  James explains that his kidneys are failing and he is hoping that Alison can get tested to see if she would be a potential match as a donor.  Before Alison can give a real answer to this request, she leaves the house, unable to process all of the information being thrown her way.

4

“Why did he reach out to you?”

Alison confronts her mother, Athena, and asks her why she kept this information from her.  Athena is upset to find out that James contacted Alison and begins laughing hysterically when she finds out that he wanted a kidney.  When Alison questions her mother further about this, she tells Alison the truth and explains that James raped her when she was nineteen and that she changed her name and moved away to protect her.  Athena tells Alison that she doesn’t remember anything about him saving her and Alison is having trouble processing everything, as she desperately needs some kind of escape at this point.  If James did not save Alison, it still makes us wonder about this memory she has locked away.  It was clearly traumatic enough to be blocked, but will we find out the truth about what happened to her?  Is it possible that James or his wife has something to do with Alison’s disappearance?  The questions keep coming as new players are introduced to the mystery, but we will have to wait and see how it all unravels.

3

“Hey pot, I’m kettle.  Nice to meet you.”

In part one, Anton approaches Noah and gives him an essay to look at, as he is now thinking about applying to Princeton again.  Noah is clearly having an impact on Anton and he wants to loop Janelle into the conversation, as he recognizes how much potential her son has.  Noah barges into Janelle’s office and interrupts a conference call with her supervisor.  Noah tries to get involved further by talking to him and explaining that he’s “incredibly lucky to have her.”  While this gesture is sweet and well intended, Noah is out of line and Janelle reminds him to knock next time.  After Trevor refuses to go to the concert with Noah, he ends up at Janelle’s doorstep and the two discuss Anton’s essay and begin growing even closer.  As fate would have it, just when they begin kissing, Anton and his father walk in the door and Noah finds himself out of place.  Janelle thanks him for coming over and Noah is beyond polite to Anton’s father, but is Noah overstepping here?  Noah is having trouble connecting to his own family and it looks like he has the chance to do so here, but something tells me that Anton’s father will not want Noah intervening any further.  I was disappointed to see Noah and Janelle’s moment together interrupted, but it’s clear that sparks are continuing to fly, but how will Anton feel when he finds out that his teacher and mentor is into his mom?

2

“You look good for a felon.”

After Noah gets a phone call and rushes off to bail Alison out of jail, we jump to part two to learn about the events that led up to this.  Alison tries to call Ben and she really needs to talk to him about everything she just learned about her father.  Her emotions are overwhelming her and she makes the decision to drive down to his work, but is in for an unexpected surprise when she meets his wife at the office.  Alison is stunned and walks out of there, desperately needing to just get away.  She uses Noah’s gift card to take a flight to California, but trouble refuses to stay behind.  Alison begins drinking and talking to the stranger next to her and it seems harmless enough until he begins touching her thigh and suggesting that they try out the mile high club.  Alison throws her drink on the stranger and tries to get up, but bumps her head and accidentally pushes over an elderly woman.  The misunderstanding begins to escalate and no one believes Alison when she tries to tell security that the man attacked her.  Alison’s terrible day hits a new low when she winds up zip tied for the remainder of the flight while a young girl records her on her phone.  #BadDay 

1

“You can manifest your reality.”

After Noah bails Alison out of jail, they are in the car and she begins breaking down and tells Noah she feels like she can’t breathe.  While it seems like Alison is having a panic attack, he rushes her over to Vik so he can make sure she is all right.  Helen offers for Alison to stay the night and even Alison comments that “this is weird.”  Alison turns to Helen, recognizing that perhaps she is the only person who can give her some real and honest advice.  She asks her, “Why do men look at me and see someone they can fuck with?  It’s like they can smell something on me.”  Helen talks to her about “manifesting her reality,” and explains that “if there’s something in your life you want to change, you just need to think differently and it will change.  Alison seems doubtful at first, but Helen reminds Alison that she doesn’t always need to play the victim.  She says, “If you don’t like the way men are treating you, change the story.  Play a different character.”  Helen’s words seem to really resonate with Alison and Helen reminds us why we love her so much when she tells Alison to tell Ben to “go fuck himself” and that it’s not OK for him to treat her like that.  It’s no secret that Alison and Helen have a beyond complicated past and this moment is truly important, as Alison gets some much needed advice that is free of an ulterior motive.  Helen has been going through her own issues and she reminds Alison that she is still young enough to change her story.  Will Alison be able to do so, however?  Either way, Alison genuinely appreciates Helen’s words.  I have to admit that I never thought I would see these two bonding over anything, but this moment of clarity was extremely important for both Alison and Helen.  Perhaps these two women can finally discover who they are and what they want without compromising themselves to please someone else.  It’s about time.  Stay tuned! 

I hope you enjoyed the list and feel free to post your own theories and thoughts on The Affair below in the comments section.  Thanks so much for reading and happy viewing!

Best,

Amy Koto, TV Fanatic Girl

@TV_Fanatic_Girl

If you enjoyed this blog, I would love it if you would click the follow button on your way out to subscribe.  Thanks for your support! 

I am so excited to announce that my book is now available!  If you enjoy fairy-tale retellings, paranormal romance, and mystery, then this might be the book for you or someone you know!  Thank you for taking the time to check it out and I appreciate any feedback as well.  I hope you enjoy!

The Search for Alice is available here!

The Search for Alice Cover