Happy Monday TV fans! After watching AMC’s Fear the Walking Dead season 4 episode 5, I learned that repeating the same routine over and over can slowly kill you. You may not realize it right away, but it will eat away at you, stirring the loneliness within. We all need purpose and meaning in our lives and that’s exactly what John Dorie gets when he finds his “Laura” wash up on shore. Quiet nights of playing Scrabble and watching old movies transform into real and true moments, building a relationship and a love for someone else that make the loneliness fade away. But what happens when that person leaves? Will that feeling ever return or will we spend our lives trying to hold on to it while we close ourselves off to the rest of the world? Please note spoilers are ahead if you have not gotten a chance to watch the latest episode yet. In last night’s episode, “Laura,” John Dorie opens up to Morgan and we get a much needed glimpse into his past with Naomi, otherwise known as “Laura.” The episode has a calming quiet about it, as we invest ourselves into John’s life and truly empathize with him after Laura leaves, giving us a better understanding of this new character. My top 5 moments from Fear the Walking Dead season 4 episode 5 are:
Rinse and Repeat.
In the beginning of the episode, we get a glimpse into John Dorie’s past and spend each lonely day with him. Every morning he wakes up to his singing fish alarm clock and sighs in bed, anticipating that there will not be much different from the day before. He makes himself some breakfast and sits out on his porch, taking in the view of the river and the beautiful landscape surrounding his home. Every now and then a walker washes up on shore and John eliminates the threat, as if he were handling a common pest problem. The day leads up to a solitary game of Scrabble and a re-watch of an old movie with some popcorn. While John is clearly living the simple life, the monotony and repetition doesn’t leave much to look forward to. Everything changes, however; when John finds a woman who washes up on shore. We immediately see that it is Naomi and she is badly injured. John doesn’t hesitate to bring her into his home and to save her life, letting down his guard in the process.
“You look like a Laura.”
After John helps Laura with her wound, he can tell that she is hesitant about revealing too much to a stranger. He is the perfect gentlemen and offers to sleep on the couch and decides to call her “Laura” until she is comfortable with telling him her real name. He strikes up a conversation about soup and admits to her that “it’s been a while since I had company.” It’s clear from the moment that John meets Laura that there is a spark between these two. John tends to wear his heart on his sleeve while Laura has her guard up. She initially goes through John’s place and tries to take off in his car, but he calmly tells her that all she needs to do is ask, revealing his good nature and open heart. Laura is still on edge with John, but seems to be warming up to him, slowly letting her guard down now as well.
John teaches Laura how to fish.
After going on a run to the local store, Laura asks John to teach her how to fish, recognizing the importance of knowing how to utilize the resources of the river. The two go out every day and are getting closer and closer. John reveals to Laura that “Tuesday is movie night” and she even starts to watch some films with him and play Scrabble, keeping him company and making the days that much more fulfilling. Laura agrees to help John push a car in front of the opening to the river to help keep the walkers away from his property, but is shocked when John refuses to pull a gun on the walker that gets into the car. It’s clear that John is haunted by something in his past, but is not ready to deal with it just yet.
“Doesn’t matter how many people tell you it’s not your fault. It only matters if you believe it.”
Laura reveals to John that she lost a child and bursts into tears. John gives her space but it is the first real time we see Laura truly opening up to John. She is not the only one who needs to get something off her chest, however; as John tells her the story about him being a cop and firing his gun at a robber accidentally. He tells her that it was an “intentional mistake” and was horrified when people referred to him as a hero. In this moment, it’s clear how much these two truly need each other. They have both been carrying around this guilt, unable to shake it. While Laura runs away from her guilt at every chance she gets, John stays hidden away from people. In this moment, they stop running and they stop hiding, as their worlds collide and they take some comfort in knowing that they can share their pain with the other. While John is ready to stop hiding, it seems that Laura has not been able to completely face her demons just yet.
“You may not think you’re a hero but I do.”
Although this episode is filled with an unnatural quiet, the walkers finally get through the car and make their way to John’s home. Laura and John are surrounded, as they desperately try to hold off the walkers. When Laura falls into a ditch, John has no other choice and fires off both of his guns, showing off some impressive shooting. He saves Laura and he tells her that he loves her. He gives her the other gun because he wants her to be safe and because he is afraid of what will happen if he keeps it. When John reveals his love he explains that he didn’t want her to know because he knows deep down that she is just going to leave. In a heartbreaking moment, John tells her “you’re alive. This whole world feels alive,” revealing the hope that Laura has given him. Laura does end up leaving, but leaves behind a message with Scrabble letters: I love you too. I’m sorry. While Laura clearly does love John, she is still running from her past and is unable to slow down for even a moment. After this scene, we come back to present day where John is sitting with Morgan. He breaks down and wonders what would have happened if he didn’t tell her he loved her right away and that perhaps she would still be alive. Morgan consoles him and says “waiting…that’s how you lose people.” He reminds John that they are part of the world and that they have a real chance to make a difference with Alicia, Victor, and Luciana. Like John, Morgan has been running away from his own inner demons, but now consciously makes the decision to stand by someone and to do something. Real connections are what keep us going and even though Laura may be gone, the love John has for her is something transcendent. Laura reminded John what it was like to truly be alive again and by sharing this story with Morgan, he does the same thing for him. We may not seek out connections with other people, but sometimes they show up unexpectedly at our doorstep and it’s up to us to decide what happens next. Stay tuned!
I hope you enjoyed the list and feel free to post your own theories and thoughts on Fear the Walking Dead in the comments section below. Happy viewing!
Amy Koto, TV Fanatic Girl