Ranking the top 5 moments from “The Affair” season 4 episode 9: “I Just Want To Live A Different Life”

Happy Monday TV fans!  After watching Showtime’s The Affair last night, I realized that it is never too late to try and change our own story.  Alison Bailey is proof of that.  Over the years, Alison has been broken, like a wounded bird, desperately trying to cling to some kind of temporary moment of bliss.  Even though Alison began to make real changes in her life, her true metamorphosis occurred when she took Helen’s advice and decided to change her narrative, refusing to let men treat her a certain way.  That made this episode even more tragic, dark, and heartbreaking for me.  I was so proud of Alison’s strength here, but sometimes there is a darkness in others that tries to stifle even the faintest light, dragging it deep into the ocean.  But not everything stays beneath the surface for long.  Please note major spoilers are ahead if you have not gotten a chance to watch the latest episode yet.  In last night’s episode, “409,” Alison prepares for her conversation with Ben and confronts him about his lie.  While the temptation remains, Alison focuses all of her energy on doing the right thing and finding out the truth.  Alison’s fate is finally revealed to the audience, which is both shocking and devastating.  My top 5 moments from The Affair season 4 episode 9 are:

5

“All I want is to somehow be forgiven.”

Part one of the episode is from Alison’s perspective, as she anxiously waits for Ben to arrive.  When he shows up, Alison does her best to keep the conversation going and explains that she has some things she wants to address with Ben.  Before she can get a chance, Ben reveals to Alison that he is married and that he has just left his wife.  Alison explains that she already knew this information and that she is “done being a woman you lie to your wife about.”  After all, Alison has already lived through this before and she knows that “it doesn’t end well.”  Ben opens up to Alison and tells her about his time as a soldier in Afghanistan and how he killed a kid by mistake, which has left him with a never-ending hole of guilt, weighing down on his conscience constantly.  He explains that he was not the same person when he returned and this impacted everything, including his marriage.  Alison compassionately listens to him, understanding what it means to walk around with that pain every day.

4

“Don’t mess with my heart, OK?”

Ben agrees to fix Alison’s sink even after she tells him she can’t see him anymore and then she agrees to make him dinner.  It seems like their break-up is amenable and I instantly began to question everything since we know that this is not the story that Ben told Cole and Noah.  Ben asks Alison to dance with him and Alison asks him, “What happens to us?  The ones who can’t be forgiven.”  Ben answers that he wants to live and the two share a kiss.  He asks Alison what she wants and she gives in to Ben and begins kissing him back.  This leads to them making love and it seems like everything is perfect between them now.  Only it’s too perfect and now we know why.

3

“Tell me the truth.”

Alison is cleaning up in the kitchen and hears a knock at the door.  The rain is still pouring outside and she looks down at the sink, which is now broken again.  When she opens the door, Ben is standing there and part two from Alison’s perspective begins.  One of the reasons why I adore this show so much is because we get to see things from different perspectives.  Usually each story has its own version or variation of the truth, but we ultimately get to peek into the hearts and minds of our favorite characters.  When part two opened up with Alison again, I realized that the first part was merely a dream or a fantasy of what could be.  Reality was now at the door and I was on the edge of my seat, fearing for the worst.  When Alison tells Ben she needs to talk to him, he is no longer kind and gentle like in the first part.  He tells her never to stand him up again and is clearly angry and on edge.  Ben begins drinking when he tells Alison about his time in Afghanistan, which now reveals that Ben knew that the kid he killed was not holding a real weapon.  Alison tries to ask him why he would do this and his anger begins to escalate even further.

2

“I don’t owe you a thing.”

We know that Ben has a problem with drinking and his behavior begins to become erratic.  He breaks down when Alison tells him to leave and cries in her lap and begs her to be with him.  Alison has had enough; however, and is ready to embrace the strong woman within.  She tells Ben she knows that he is married and it’s like a new darkness comes over Ben.  He is now suddenly calmer, but the danger is nowhere near gone.  He tells Alison that she better not tell his wife, threatening her.  Alison tells him that she won’t if he leaves and he turns everything around on her.  Ben tells Alison that she broke up other marriages and that he will only leave if she admits that this is her fault.  Alison stays strong and tells Ben, “I don’t owe you a thing.”  While I was so proud of Alison in this moment, I feared what would happen next.  Ben attacks Alison and hits her over the head.  As the blood rushes down on Alison’s face, her life began pouring out of her.  While I was hoping to be wrong about Ben, the reality of him being Alison’s murderer became painfully obvious when I realized that there were no other characters in this episode at the beginning of part two.

1

“I just want to live a different life.  I want to live a different story.”

At the end of the episode, we see Ben dumping Alison’s body into the ocean by the rocks.  Alison’s last monologue is heard, which is beyond heartbreaking.  Alison talks about wanting to live a different life or story so that she could be someone who could be happy.  She took Helen’s advice and finally tried to be strong and stand up for herself, but Ben refused to allow her the chance at a fresh start.  We see Alison’s body sinking to the bottom of the ocean, as this life is over for her.  In this moment, I wanted nothing more for Alison than for her to get another chance.  She has been through so much loss and pain along the way and it seems beyond unfair that her story ends just when she was starting to fight for the spark of life that had been trapped away for so long.  This episode was compelling and dark, revealing the ugliness that can lurk beneath the surface.  Alison was not perfect and she was completely aware of this, but she didn’t deserve what happened to her and I am hoping that Cole gets the chance to bring Ben to justice.  While Alison’s story may be over, Cole’s love for her will not burn out, keeping her memory alive.  Farewell Alison.  You deserved better.  Stay tuned!

I hope you enjoyed the list and feel free to post your own theories and thoughts on The Affair below in the comments section.  Thanks so much for reading and happy viewing!

Best,

Amy Koto, TV Fanatic Girl

@TV_Fanatic_Girl

If you enjoyed this blog, I would love it if you would click the follow button on your way out to subscribe.  Thanks for your support! 

I am so excited to announce that my book is now available!  If you enjoy fairy-tale retellings, paranormal romance, horror, and mystery, then this might be the book for you or someone you know!  Thank you for taking the time to check it out and I appreciate any feedback as well.  I hope you enjoy!

When Kallie Bennett, a jaded teenage girl plagued by her alcoholic mother and her peers molded out of sheer bubble gum perfection, chases after Alice in Wonderland herself, she ends up lost in her own version of Wonderland, which forces her to face her utmost fears and introduces her to familiar characters with a dark twist. Among these characters is Ches, a gorgeous vampire with a conflicted conscience, who becomes Kallie’s guide and blossoming love interest. She also crosses paths with Queen Hartley, a manipulative witch who has the power to strip away one’s memories and imagination, which brings a bone chilling new meaning to “off with their heads.” In The Search for Alice, Kallie starts to realize that her Wonderland is just as frightening as her own reality and that she cannot always run away from her problems. She must figure out a way to defeat Queen Hartley and return home before it is too late, but she soon learns that escaping Wonderland means leaving Ches behind forever.

Want to read more?  You can click the link directly below for a free preview.  Thanks for your support!

Free Instant Preview of The Search for Alice is available here!

The Search for Alice is available here!

The Search for Alice Cover

 

Advertisements

Ranking the top 5 moments from “The Affair” season 4 episode 8: “We Need to Know that it’s the Real Her”

Happy Monday TV fans!  After watching Showtime’s The Affair last night, I realized that sometimes you spend so much time being strong for everyone else, that you almost forget to take a moment to let the grief and pain in.  Even if it is just for a moment, sometimes you need to allow all of your feelings to rush straight to the surface.  Whether this leads to crying or yelling, it doesn’t matter.  What matters is that you take the time to allow yourself to dive into your own feelings.  This doesn’t make you weak or selfish.  It just makes you human and it’s important that we process our feelings every now and again.  Please note major spoilers are ahead if you have not gotten a chance to watch the latest episode yet.  In last night’s episode, “408,” Cole, Noah, and Anton set out to find Alison and solve this mystery once and for all.  While these three bond along the way, nothing can prepare them for the discovery they are about to make.  My top 5 moments from The Affair season 4 episode 8 are:

5

“I want you to understand the hole that you left in her life.”

Part one of the episode is from Cole’s perspective and he teams up with Noah and Anton to find Alison.  After speaking to Alison’s mother, Athena, Cole learns about Alison’s father and decides to pay him a visit.  Noah insists that they take a polite approach so that they open up to them, but Cole cannot sit there and listen to Alison’s father judge her, especially when he talks about her “episodes.”  Cole reminds him that he hasn’t been there for her entire life and that he doesn’t know anything about Alison.  Cole refuses to let Alison’s father take advantage of her, remembering how Alison always felt like it was her fault that her father wasn’t around.  I have to say that I was also rooting for Cole in this moment, as it seems like her father was only out to use Alison, but we will need to wait and see if there is more to the story.

4

“What are you two doing together?”

So I never thought that I would see Noah and Cole working together on anything, but their love for Alison brought them together.  Anton added some comic relief as well, which gave the episode a lighter feel at first.  Even though the episode takes a dramatic twist, it was hilarious to see both Noah and Cole point out what works for the other in terms of getting women.  While Noah refers to Cole as a “classic moper,” Cole takes things further when he explains that Noah will make promises that he can’t keep.  Anton refuses to let them ruin the mood and schools them both when he “sexiles” Noah from the hotel room after he meets up with the owner’s daughter.  After barely escaping another disaster when her father pounds on the door, these three enjoy some male bonding, which helps keep their minds off the inevitable…at least temporarily.

3

“We need to know that it’s the real her…you do it.”

Cole and Noah are shocked when they find out that a body has been discovered.  Cole is barely able to process his own grief and refuses to look at the pictures to identify Alison’s body.  He wants to be brought to her actual body, but is warned that she drowned and was left underwater for several days.  When they finally approach the room, Cole cannot handle this and Noah courageously offers to identify her.  Cole’s reaction to Noah’s confirmation is beyond heartbreaking.  I have to admit that I was hoping that it would not be Alison and that we still had a mystery to unfold, but there is still more to the story.  Even though Cole cannot stand Noah, he genuinely appreciates that he was able to do this for him, as they are both connected forever to the memory of the woman they both loved so much.

2

“I don’t buy it.”

After receiving the heartbreaking news that Alison is dead, Cole refuses to believe that it is a suicide.  I have to say I agree with Cole, as it’s unlikely that Alison would leave Joanie especially when it seemed like she was finally getting her life back into some type of order.  While Cole tries to blame Ben, he has an alibi and explains that Alison broke up with him.  Cole is still not buying it, but I am starting to think that perhaps her father or his new wife had something to do with it.  We know that Alison was not about to hand her kidney over, especially after Athena tells her that she was raped by him.  Is it possible that they tried to take matters into their own hands?  While I’m not certain that this is true, it seems like Alison had such a great conversation with Helen and was finally ready to start changing her narrative.  So what changed when she returned from California?

1

Part two:  Noah.

I was surprised to see “Part Two” pop up on the screen, as the episode was almost over at this point.  There was so much going on that I almost forgot that the show was divided into separate parts.  However, this part was absolutely necessary and extremely moving.  The majority of the episode focuses so much on Cole’s own grief, as he desperately tries to find out what happened to Alison.  Noah was strong for Cole the entire time, but when he goes to the diner with Anton, he finally has a moment to himself.  Noah sees a woman in a waitress uniform that resembles Alison and all of his memories and feelings come rushing back.  When Anton goes to the restroom, Noah begins quietly sobbing at the table and I was crying right along with him.  While Noah may have confessed to Cole that his relationship with Alison was over, that doesn’t mean that he didn’t have something real with her.  The two of them shared a connection for many years and he clearly cared for Alison very much.  Noah did his part for Cole, but in this quiet and temporary moment, he is able to finally release his grief.  This moment was heartbreaking and I empathized with Noah completely.  Will Noah be able to pick up the pieces now that Alison is gone?  Will we finally find out what happened to her?  Stay tuned!

I hope you enjoyed the list and feel free to post your own theories and thoughts on The Affair below in the comments section.  Thanks so much for reading and happy viewing!

Best,

Amy Koto, TV Fanatic Girl

@TV_Fanatic_Girl

If you enjoyed this blog, I would love it if you would click the follow button on your way out to subscribe.  Thanks for your support! 

I am so excited to announce that my book, The Search for Alice, is now available!  If you enjoy fairy-tale retellings, paranormal romance, and mystery, then this might be the book for you or someone you know!  Thank you for taking the time to check it out and I appreciate any feedback as well.  I hope you enjoy!

When Kallie Bennett, a jaded teenage girl plagued by her alcoholic mother and her peers molded out of sheer bubble gum perfection, chases after Alice in Wonderland herself, she ends up lost in her own version of Wonderland, which forces her to face her utmost fears and introduces her to familiar characters with a dark twist. Among these characters is Ches, a gorgeous vampire with a conflicted conscience, who becomes Kallie’s guide and blossoming love interest. She also crosses paths with Queen Hartley, a manipulative witch who has the power to strip away one’s memories and imagination, which brings a bone chilling new meaning to “off with their heads.” In The Search for Alice, Kallie starts to realize that her Wonderland is just as frightening as her own reality and that she cannot always run away from her problems. She must figure out a way to defeat Queen Hartley and return home before it is too late, but she soon learns that escaping Wonderland means leaving Ches behind forever.

Want to read more?  You can click the link directly below for a free preview.  Thanks for your support!

Free Instant Preview of The Search for Alice is available here!

The Search for Alice is available here

The Search for Alice Cover