Happy Thursday TV fans! After watching AMC’s Fear the Walking Dead season 4 episode 10, I remembered that good memories can save your life. You may try to forget the past, but the good in those we lost before can help us find our way, even if it seems like it is hopeless. We can find strength in ourselves and in others just by opening our hearts a little bit, just enough to let someone else in who may be in as much pain as we are. Please note spoilers are ahead if you have not gotten a chance to watch the latest episode yet. In last night’s episode, “Close Your Eyes,” the storm has arrived and Alicia tries to find shelter on her own, but quickly realizes that she has an uninvited guest that she is now trapped with. Alicia desperately wants to do the right thing, but has trouble facing the person she holds responsible for killing her family. My top 5 moments from Fear the Walking Dead season 4 episode 10 are:
“You can never make up for it.”
While Alicia begins securing the house and taking out the walker family residing, she quickly discovers that Charlie is there too. Alicia panics and tells Charlie that she can’t be there, fearing what she might do to her. Alicia has a lot of bottled up pain and anger toward Charlie and rightfully so. Alicia is still a good person; however, and tells Charlie that she can’t send her out in the storm, but is worried that she may kill her if she stays there. Even though Alicia doesn’t physically harm Charlie, her words cut straight to the bone. Alicia tells Charlie that she is a waste of a person and that she wants her to stay alive so she can live with the pain and guilt of what she did to her family. Alicia’s brutal honesty clearly impacts Charlie, especially when she tells her that she can never forgive her. At this point, it’s clear that both Alicia and Charlie are in pain, unsure of how to deal with it. While Alicia puts her feelings out in the open, Charlie remains quiet for a long time, which creates an interesting contrast between these two. We all handle pain and grief in our own way. Sometimes we want to scream so loud that the earth will shake and other times we want to quietly numb ourselves, secluded away from the rest of the world. Alicia and Charlie’s worlds are about to collide; however, forcing them to deal with the pain that has been locked inside both of them for so long.
“Why did you save me?”
During the episode, both Alicia and Charlie spot a walker pinned by a tree branch outside the bedroom window. Charlie heads outside toward the walker, getting closer and closer to death, but Alicia pulls her away in the nick of time. Charlie finally speaks and asks Alicia why she saved her. Alicia suddenly realizes that the gun Charlie held on to was not for her. Charlie had come here to end her own life, but Alicia reminds her once again that she needs to live with it and that she can’t help her. While Alicia continues to do the right thing, she still cannot completely open up to Charlie. However, this moment is important because we start to truly understand Charlie’s character. While she has made many mistakes previously, she’s not that different from Alicia and the others, as she tries to find some way to cope with her loss.
“Sometimes when I’m reading I just like to close my eyes and try to see what I just read about.”
Charlie begins to open up to Alicia and tries to break the ice. She asks her about living in California, intrigued by the idea of the beach. Charlie’s love for reading and books starts to make more sense, as she explains the need to try and find some kind of escape in these words and stories. Alicia coldly responds that the beach is just like everywhere else, now covered with the dead. While Charlie is disappointed with her answer, Alicia begins to understand her more and more now.
“I can’t end up like them.”
Later in the episode, Alicia and Charlie end up trapped in the basement, as the water begins to quickly rise, threatening their lives. Charlie begins to panic and tells Alicia that she doesn’t want to end up like the dead. She tells Alicia that she saw her own parents turn and that she tries to remember what they looked like before, but she can’t. Charlie’s interest in photographs adds up now, as she tries to create some kind of picture of what her parents looked like before. She asks Alicia to end her life so that she doesn’t turn and Alicia even points the gun right at her head, but she can’t go through with it. Alicia breaks down also and begins seeing images and pictures of the last moments of her family, which is heartbreaking. Even though it is clearly difficult for Alicia to remember these moments, it gives her the strength she needs to do the right thing. When all seems lost, the walker from the roof falls on the door to the basement, ultimately saving both Alicia and Charlie. Whether this is coincidence or fate, I’m not so sure, but Alicia’s refusal to give up proves that she is more than just a survivor. She is a force of nature, stronger than the storm outside. Alicia finally channels her pain the right way, trying to keep her mother’s memory alive by doing so.
“Close your eyes…”
At the end of the episode, Alicia buries the walker family and has finally made a connection with Charlie. Charlie tells Alicia that she can see her mother in her, which is truly heartwarming. This leads to my absolute favorite moment of the episode, as Alicia and Charlie drive away. Alicia tells Charlie, “Close your eyes…I’m going to take you to the beach.” Charlie closes her eyes and Alicia walks her through every sight, smell, and sound. Charlie tells her that she can see it all and can now also finally see her mom and dad again. While this moment is truly touching, the escape is temporary, as Alicia quickly discovers that her friends are gone and tells Charlie that “things don’t get better…they get worse.” Reality has surfaced again and we don’t yet know the fate of the other characters, but this episode was extremely significant for both Alicia and Charlie. Alycia Debnam-Carey’s performance was so real and heartbreaking. It’s like I could feel every breath she took and every word she blurted out, empathizing with the pain screaming inside her character. While some of our favorite characters are gone, Alycia’s performance proved that she is a strong female protagonist, worthy of the lead and I am absolutely ready and willing to follow her. It looks like we will determine Morgan’s fate next week. Stay tuned!
I hope you enjoyed the list and feel free to post your own theories and thoughts on Fear the Walking Dead in the comments section below. Thanks so much for reading and happy viewing!
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Amy Koto, TV Fanatic Girl
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