Ranking the top 5 moments from “Shameless” season 9 episode 3: “S&M is not like Riding a Bike”

Happy Sunday TV fans!  After watching Showtime’s Shameless season 9 episode 3, I realized that it’s sometimes necessary to update your image.  Whether that means updating your wardrobe to a pant suit, turning your bar from “rapey” to “Certifide Vagina Safe,” misspelling intended, or dusting off your red leather boots to help a friend in need, Team Gallagher is ready for a makeover to help make a difference.  Please note spoilers are ahead if you have not gotten a chance to watch yet.  In tonight’s episode, “Weirdo Gallagher Vortex,” Fiona and Irish Ford clash after she closes her business deal, Liam goes to public school, and Lip tries to protect Xan.  Meanwhile, Ian tries out some new religions, Debbie experiments with a woman, and Frank continues to help Mo White with his campaign to make some cash.  My top 5 moments from Shameless season 9 episode 3 are:

5

“We need more dick.”

During the episode, Debbie grows closer to her new friend and they bond over welding their dick creations to the cars of men outside a strip club.  Debbie enjoys spending time with her new friend, but starts to question her own sexuality when she has a moment with her and makes out with her in the bathroom.  Even though Ian tells Debbie that she is not gay, she can’t ignore these new feelings surfacing.  Will Debbie explore these feelings further?  Is this a new possible relationship for her?

4

“Stop trying to save the world and save yourself.”

After getting out of jail, Ian is having a difficult time adjusting, no longer wanting to embrace the “Gay Jesus” title.  He tries to listen for “shim” or God, but is getting a busy signal.  Frank tells Ian that he needs to stick to traditional religions in order to find his enlightenment and Ian decides to give it a try.  After trying out Buddhism, Judaism, and Catholicism, Ian doesn’t find the answers he is looking for.  He is focused so much on hearing the words of “shim” or God and he doesn’t possess much patience when looking for his own “enlightenment.”  Later in the episode, Debbie sets Ian straight and tells him to “stop trying to save the world and save yourself.”  Will Ian take her advice?  We’ll have to stay tuned to find out, but I think it’s time for Ian to find a new calling.  Maybe one of a lesser power.

3

“So now you want a relationship?”

Fiona is beyond excited to sign off on her new business deal with Max, but Irish Ford reveals his jealousy over the situation.  Fiona is initially confused by his behavior especially since they don’t really have a label on their relationship and have been “hanging out.”  Fiona’s dog, Rusty, makes a special guest appearance and keeps her company while she eats her cheeseburger, while Irish Ford eats at the table alone.  After speaking with V, V reminds Fiona that “people get hurt when you leave your options open.”  She further explains that she initially told Kev, “you’re my man, I’m your girl, and if you’re not happy with that…I’ll kill you in your sleep.”  While I’m not sure that Fiona and Ford need to go to this extreme, perhaps it is time for them to take their relationship to an official level, especially since Ford seems to have gone above and beyond to get his “apology” right for Fiona.  Will Fiona’s new business partner threaten her relationship with Ford?  Ford has openly expressed not liking Max, but is there more to the story here?

2

“Bitch I’m not asking.”

Carl is continuing to change lives one dog at a time, but is still determined to get into West Point.  He later discovers that V knows Congressman Ubberman, who used to be one of her former dominatrix clients.  Carl asks V if she can help him at all since he needs his recommendation, but V hilariously explains that “S&M is not like riding a bike.”  After going through some of her old clothes, she finds her whip and “Lenora” is back and better than ever.  V shows off her dominatrix skills and gets Congressman Ubberman to agree to recommend Carl for West Point.  Mission accomplished!

1

“They made a list of the rapiest bars in the South Side and the Alibi is number 1.”

During the episode, Kev and V discover that they were included on this list.  While they are initially shocked, they begin to look around and notice all of the posters and art that glorify sex and objectify women.  Kev is determined to make the bar less “rapey,” to bring back female customers and more importantly, because “rapey is wrong,” as V gently reminds him.  Kev reminds everyone that they should not refer to women as “chicks” and should perhaps try out “vaginal enterprises.”  V is not amused and he goes with “women” instead.  Kev tries to make sure the television programming is friendly for women, drinks like “Sex on the Beach” will now just simply be “The Beach,” and he even creates consent forms as well to ensure maximum safety.  Kev begins tracking his process and creates a chalk board sign on the back of the door that says, “Hours Since Last Rapey Talk.”  Kev is excited to start off with 2, but quickly has to change this back to 0 after Mo White reveals the truth about his past and an underage girl.  Kev is determined to make women feel safe in the bar and finally places his sign on the window, which says, “Certifide Vagina Safe,” complete with a drawing of what I can only assume is a vagina with boxing gloves.  While spelling has never been Kev’s strong suit, he is definitely putting forth a lot of effort to make everyone feel safe at his bar.  I guess it’s the thought that counts.  Stay tuned!

I hope you enjoyed the list and feel free to post your own thoughts on Shameless below in the comments section.  Thanks so much for reading and happy viewing!

Best,

Amy Koto, TV Fanatic Girl

@TV_Fanatic_Girl

If you enjoyed this blog, I would love it if you would click the follow button on your way out to subscribe.  Thanks for your support! 

I am so excited to announce that my book, The Search for Alice, is now available!  If you enjoy fairy-tale retellings, paranormal romance, horror, and mystery, then this might be the book for you or someone you know!  Thank you for taking the time to check it out and I appreciate any feedback as well.  I hope you enjoy!

When Kallie Bennett, a jaded teenage girl plagued by her alcoholic mother and her peers molded out of sheer bubble gum perfection, chases after Alice in Wonderland herself, she ends up lost in her own version of Wonderland, which forces her to face her utmost fears and introduces her to familiar characters with a dark twist. Among these characters is Ches, a gorgeous vampire with a conflicted conscience, who becomes Kallie’s guide and blossoming love interest. She also crosses paths with Queen Hartley, a manipulative witch who has the power to strip away one’s memories and imagination, which brings a bone chilling new meaning to “off with their heads.” In The Search for Alice, Kallie starts to realize that her Wonderland is just as frightening as her own reality and that she cannot always run away from her problems. She must figure out a way to defeat Queen Hartley and return home before it is too late, but she soon learns that escaping Wonderland means leaving Ches behind forever.

Want to read more?  You can click the link directly below for a free preview.  Thanks for your support!

Free Instant Preview of The Search for Alice is available here!

The Search for Alice is available here!

The Search for Alice Cover

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Ranking the top 5 moments from “Shameless” season 9 episode 1 season premiere: “Isn’t that just the cost of being a Gallagher?”

Happy Sunday TV fans!  After watching Showtime’s Shameless season 9 episode 1 season premiere, I am beyond excited for the return of my favorite family on television.  The season premiere helped us catch up with all of our favorite characters and had us quite concerned about others, but it’s all in good fun.  Please note spoilers are ahead if you have not gotten a chance to watch yet.  In tonight’s episode, “Are You There Shim?  It’s Me, Ian,” Fiona focuses her attention on getting an appraisal done on her building to help come up with the bail money for Ian, but becomes distracted when she learns that Irish Ford may be hiding something from her.  Meanwhile, Debbie is outraged when she finds out that she is not being paid the same as the men in her field, Frank gets intimately involved with the PTA, Lip shows off his dance skills, and Kassidi enthusiastically cheers on her man.  My top 5 moments from Shameless season 9 episode 1 are:

5

“You’ll have to handle your personal issue.”

Carl is working hard and is determined to be promoted to Cadet Lieutenant, but his commanding officer reminds him that he will need to handle his “personal issue” first.  The personal issue is of course Karl’s wife or girlfriend, Kassidi, who is camped out on the base holding up countdown signs until they can be reunited once again.  Kassidi reminds Carl that she is practicing her kegels and that she loves him, but decides that this isn’t enough to show her love and devotion.  She ultimately breaks out a cheerleader outfit and puts a creative spin on a classic cheer when she calls out, “Carl Carl, he’s our man, if he can’t f*ck me, no one can!”  While I give her props for maximum effort, Carl realizes that Kassidi may be standing in the way of his promotion.  Before Carl can come up with a suitable plan, one of his trainees takes it upon himself to handle the situation and tells Carl that “no one will ever find the body.”  Does this mean what we think it means or is there another explanation?  I absolutely love the role of Kassidi, played by the incredible Sammi Hanratty, and thoroughly enjoyed her obsessive relationship with Carl.  That being said, perhaps he is finally off the hook now?  We’ll have to wait for further confirmation.

4

“That’s a playpen.” 

Kev and V are having a difficult time controlling their daughters, realizing that Svetlana scared them so much that they didn’t really act out before.  With her absence, it is up to Kev to get creative so that he can get some quality time with V.  While in the bar, he keeps the girls in cages, but he hilariously reminds the patrons that it’s a playpen.  However, perhaps a dog cage was not far off, as Kev decides to resort to playing fetch in the street with his two daughters to burn off some of their energy.  While in the park with the girls, Kev and V spot a line of children who are so well behaved and are excited to see a real potential solution right in front of them…preschool!

3

“U ever coming back?  I still have Xan.”

When we first see Lip again, he is on Eddie’s social media page and discovers that she is apparently having fun in the sun without a worry in the world.  Lip messages her and reminds her that her ten year old niece is still with him.  While at his boss’s wedding, he meets the maid of honor, Tami, and has a brief fling with her after showing off his “nerdy dance moves.”  I have to admit that Lip doing the running man was absolutely epic.  After taking his boss’s advice, he goes to see Tami about asking her out to dinner, but is harshly rejected and his sex game is insulted as well.  While this may not be the right lady for Lip, it’s about time he finds someone truly worthy of his affection. 

2

“I’m the guy who supplied your wives a service.”

After Liam spoils Frank’s plan to make some quick cash, he decides to involve himself more deeply with the PTA.  Of course for Frank this means having an affair with four of the women and stealing silverware on his way out.  It seems like everything is going according to plan, until an “epidemic” of STDs is brought to the attention of the PTA and all of the affairs are out in the open.  While everyone is initially angry with Frank, he reminds them that he did them a service and uses this as an opportunity for the couples to talk about their feelings and issues out in the open, proving once again that Frank is literally able to get out of anything.

1

“Isn’t that just the cost of being a Gallagher?”

During the episode, Fiona tries her hardest to obtain the bail money needed for Ian, but Ian doesn’t seem that worried about it.  Ian is busy leading strikes in jail and praising “Shim,” since he doesn’t know if God is a man or a woman.  While Fiona is nervous that Ian is off his meds, she still decides that she needs to get his bail money together to help him.  Irish Ford is not so sure this is the best plan and Fiona tells him that it’s like talking to a wall with him, insulted that he is judging her family.  Fiona is already having mixed feelings about Irish Ford when she discovers that he has a second cell phone, but Irish Ford comes clean and explains that it is for international calls to his mother, Patty.  Before Fiona gets a chance to test this theory and answer the phone, she hilariously drops it in the toilet by accident and is completely unapologetic about it to Irish Ford.  While it seems like these two are still in the clear, I’m not sure that Irish Ford is the one for Fiona.  While we know that Emmy Rossum has announced that this is her last season on the series, I’m still waiting for Jimmy/Steve to come in and sweep her off her feet.  Fingers crossed!  Are you ready to experience more crazy adventures with the Gallagher family?  Stay tuned!

I hope you enjoyed the list and feel free to post your own thoughts on Shameless below in the comments section.  Thanks so much for reading and happy viewing!

Best,

Amy Koto, TV Fanatic Girl

@TV_Fanatic_Girl

If you enjoyed this blog, I would love it if you would click the follow button on your way out to subscribe.  Thanks for your support! 

I am so excited to announce that my book, The Search for Alice, is now available!  If you enjoy fairy-tale retellings, paranormal romance, horror, and mystery, then this might be the book for you or someone you know!  Thank you for taking the time to check it out and I appreciate any feedback as well.  I hope you enjoy!

When Kallie Bennett, a jaded teenage girl plagued by her alcoholic mother and her peers molded out of sheer bubble gum perfection, chases after Alice in Wonderland herself, she ends up lost in her own version of Wonderland, which forces her to face her utmost fears and introduces her to familiar characters with a dark twist. Among these characters is Ches, a gorgeous vampire with a conflicted conscience, who becomes Kallie’s guide and blossoming love interest. She also crosses paths with Queen Hartley, a manipulative witch who has the power to strip away one’s memories and imagination, which brings a bone chilling new meaning to “off with their heads.” In The Search for Alice, Kallie starts to realize that her Wonderland is just as frightening as her own reality and that she cannot always run away from her problems. She must figure out a way to defeat Queen Hartley and return home before it is too late, but she soon learns that escaping Wonderland means leaving Ches behind forever.

Want to read more?  You can click the link directly below for a free preview.  Thanks for your support!

Free Instant Preview of The Search for Alice is available here!

The Search for Alice is available here!

The Search for Alice Cover