Ranking the top 5 moments from “Supernatural” season 15 episode 18: “Despair”

Happy Friday TV fans! After watching The CW’s Supernatural season 15 episode 18, I witnessed one of the most beautiful and heartbreaking episodes on television of all time and I’m still not even sure if I’m ready to talk about it…

Please note MAJOR SPOILERS are ahead if you have not gotten a chance to watch the latest episode yet.

In episode 18, “Despair,” Jack’s life hangs in the balance as Sam, Dean, and Castiel try to figure out a way to stop Billie from reaping their friends. Meanwhile, some old friends return and an earth-shattering choice is made.

My top 5 moments from Supernatural season 15 episode 18 are:

5

“What do we do?”

The beginning of the episode starts off exactly where we left off. Chuck is gone for now and Jack is ready to explode…literally. Dean tells Jack they are not giving up on him, showing just how much he truly cares about him while Billie shows up with perfect timing.

SPN Season 15 episode 18

Images courtesy of The CW

Billie explains that everything was doomed because of the Winchester brothers and sends Jack to The Empty so that the explosion can be somewhat useful. We quickly find out that Jack is still alive, but now everyone has a new catastrophic problem to deal with…

4

“I didn’t know who else to call…”

Other Charlie makes an appearance in this episode and is enjoying some breakfast when her girlfriend vanishes right in front of her almost in Avengers: Infinity War style.

Charlie calls Sam and Dean and asks them why she was taken and not her, which is a very good question. Sam and Dean realize that Billie will be going after anyone who has ever been resurrected or lived in another world, which puts other Bobby and Eileen in immediate danger.

SPN Season 15 episode 18 Charlie

Images courtesy of The CW

Sam tries to reach Eileen by text as they head her way, but she also vanishes and Sam’s reaction was heartbreaking, but he recognizes that he needs to temporarily push his grief aside to help everyone else.

So sorry, Sammy!

3

“We care about you because you’re you.”

Jack begins to feel useless, but Castiel presents us with another fatherly motivational speech, reminding him that they don’t care about him because he is some kind of weapon. They care about Jack because he is family and I thought this was really important for Jack to hear right now.

There’s already a lot of emotions stirring in this episode for sure.

2

“Let’s go reap a reaper.”

Sam and Dean split up to deal with Billie. Castiel says that he will go with Dean and Jack and Sam call up Donna to get everyone to a safe house of sorts, but things start to go horribly wrong.

Dean is able to fatally wound Billie, but she is not going to die without taking Dean with her. Even though Billie is the immediate threat, she does tell them that she is not the one going after their friends, suggesting it is Chuck cleaning up the world.

SPN Season 15 episode 18 Billie

Images courtesy of The CW

Poor Sam and Jack witness everyone they care about vanish before their eyes and I have to say that I was not prepared for the Donna one. 

Meanwhile, Dean and Castiel try to hold off Billie, but time is running out and this leaves Castiel with the inevitable option we knew was coming…

1

“You changed me, Dean.”

Deep breath…here we go. I knew this moment was going to happen. I’ve predicted it ever since I first heard Castiel make that deal with The Empty that we all wanted to just disappear into the void and I know many of you did too, but that didn’t make this moment any less heartbreaking.

SPN Season 15 episode 18 Destiel

Images courtesy of The CW

I’ve talked a lot before about some of my favorite characters on television and the ones that truly resonate with me are the ones with the biggest transformations. Characters like Spike on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Cole Turner on Charmed, Olivia Blake on The 100 and Castiel absolutely come to mind. And the reason why is because of their journey.

Castiel’s journey on SPN is one of the most important ones because he never really understood humanity. Sure, he didn’t get the references and he had us laughing until our sides hurt when he learned some moves from the pizza man, but Castiel’s gradual growth toward humanity has been inspiring and moving to watch.

And at the very center of that journey is…Dean. I have really witnessed a change in Castiel with Jack, but I thought it was the right move to have everything come back full circle with Dean.

Castiel recognizes that Dean is going to die, but he has one last trick up his sleeve. If he experiences “true happiness,” the Empty will come to claim him for good, but it will also be enough to absorb and stop Billie, which would save Dean.

Castiel’s moment of true happiness is telling Dean that he loves him, which may have been one of the most brilliant moments I have ever witnessed on television. Misha Collins had me sobbing my eyes out. The moment was inevitable in a lot of ways, but I also can’t ignore the beautiful simplicity of the power behind the words of love. A love so deep that you feel it with every ounce of your body and soul even though you know that you may never hear the words said back to you.

Castiel’s sacrifice was enough to save Dean, as he was left alone to contemplate what had just happened.

Honestly, I don’t even know if I have really come to terms with it yet, but I want to celebrate the character of Castiel and I respect the writers of SPN so much for allowing Destiel shippers this epic moment.

Only two episodes left…

Carry on until then.

Stay tuned SPN family!

I hope you enjoyed the list and feel free to post your own thoughts and theories on Supernatural in the comments section below.  Thanks so much for reading and happy viewing!

Best,

Amy Koto, TV Fanatic Girl

DON’T TAKE THE JOB…

Girl Number Thirteen Lurking Promo

It was only supposed to be temporary…but when Olivia Crewe accepts a new position that seems too good to be true, she soon discovers that twelve other girls previously had the same job as her. Only none of them lasted for more than thirty days. No notice. Nothing…right before they mysteriously disappeared without a trace.

My new supernatural thriller Girl Number Thirteen releases on November 12th 2020! Available for pre-order! I hope you enjoy!

Girl Number Thirteen is available here!

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My performance of the week ending 4/27/19 on TV goes to…

Jared Padalecki, Jensen Ackles, Alexander Calvert, and Misha Collins as Sam, Dean, Jack, and Castiel on Supernatural. I was absolutely blown away by their performances in the season 14 finale and I have to give the performance of the week to all four of these amazing actors because they really pulled out all the stops.  The season finale left us with a major cliffhanger and SPN fans everywhere are wondering what the final season will look like, but I have to take a moment to talk about the growth of some of our favorite characters and the incredible performances of the cast.  Please note some spoilers are ahead.

Let’s start with Sam.  Jared Padalecki is always so brilliant and Sam has really been making me cry lately.  I love that Sam always tries to see the good in everyone.  He knows that he needs to make difficult decisions, but they continue to weigh on him, which makes me connect so much to his character.

Dean has been through so much in season 14 and he has shut down on more than one occasion.  However, Dean has a truly significant moment in the season finale when he decides not to follow through with eliminating Jack.  Unlike Sam, Dean is always prepared to do what is necessary and he seems to be first in line to sacrifice himself even when he should stop and think for a moment, playing the role of big brother.  However, Dean truly takes a minute to think about his actions, as he also considers what his mother may think, which really helped develop his character even more.  Jensen never disappoints!

Castiel has grown so much from his first appearance on the show and Misha Collins continues to impress me with his portrayal of Cass.  Sure, Castiel may bring on the laughs, but he also wants goodness to prevail, refusing to give up hope even when it seems like all hope is gone.  Castiel’s father-son relationship with Jack is so beautiful and real and I think it has really made such an incredible impact on his own character, realizing what life is all about.

When Jack lost his soul, my heart broke because there has always been such an innocence and naivete to Jack, played brilliantly by Alexander Calvert.  Jack’s spiral into darkness is that much more heartbreaking because of this, especially when we know that Sam, Dean, and Castiel are his real family.  When Dean points the gun at Jack, he tells Dean that he understands, which is such an important moment for him.  Even though Jack feels empty and different, he knows what his family has to do and he accepts his fate, proving that he is still capable of so many great things, but we’ll have to see if his fate is sealed or not.

What’s next for our favorite characters?  I’m not sure, but I can’t wait for season 15 to premiere.  It will be bitter sweet for me, as I have grown up watching these characters and I consider them to be a part of my own family.  While I always knew that the show would one day come to an end, it doesn’t make it any less heartbreaking.  However, the show will also live on for me and I will continue to be thankful for witnessing such incredible performances over the years.  I can’t wait to see how it all ends!

Stay tuned for a recognized performance on TV each week!

Best,

Amy Koto, TV Fanatic Girl

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Have a performance on TV that you think is simply outstanding? Feel free to contact me with your nomination for the week by Friday at midnight! 

**I am so excited to announce that my book, The Search for Alice, is now available!  If you enjoy dark fantasy, fairy-tale retellings, paranormal romance, horror, and mystery, then this might be the book for you or someone you know!  Thank you for taking the time to check it out and I appreciate any feedback as well.  I hope you enjoy!

**Book Two of the Dreaming of Wonderland series is scheduled to come out in June 2019 so stay tuned on that!!!!!

The Search for Alice is available here!

The Search for Alice Feb 2019

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My performance of the week ending 3/16/19 on TV goes to…

Misha Collins as Castiel on Supernatural.  Misha is always hilarious, but he often has to compete for the spotlight with Jared and Jensen.  However, in this past week’s episode, “Peace of Mind,” Cass pretty much stole the show for me.  He had so many laugh out loud moments and I loved the fact that he was left to figure out everything on his own, bringing us so much fun and entertainment along the way.  Stand out lines include:  “He has beautiful hair” and “God has a beard,” but I absolutely loved his performance this week!

What’s next for Cass?  We’ll have to stay tuned to find out, but we know that The Empty is never too far away.  Castiel has transformed so much since the beginning of the series and he really provides Jack with some amazing father-son advice.  Castiel may not realize it just yet, but his humanity has been shining through for quite some time now.  His bond with Dean is beautiful and heartwarming and he would do anything for his family, but he also understands how the world works and accepts consequences and sacrifices too, making him a truly remarkable character.  Let’s not forget that he keeps us laughing as well, giving us some welcomed comic relief to break up the drama each week, which is very much appreciated.  I can’t wait to see what Cass does next!

Stay tuned for a recognized performance on TV each week!

Best,

Amy Koto, TV Fanatic Girl

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Have a performance on TV that you think is simply outstanding? Feel free to contact me with your nomination for the week by Friday at midnight! 

**I am so excited to announce that my book, The Search for Alice, is now available!  If you enjoy dark fantasy, fairy-tale retellings, paranormal romance, horror, and mystery, then this might be the book for you or someone you know!  Thank you for taking the time to check it out and I appreciate any feedback as well.  I hope you enjoy!

The Search for Alice Feb 2019

The Search for Alice is available here!

Free Instant Preview of The Search for Alice is available here!

**If you enjoyed this blog, I would love it if you would click the follow button on your way out to subscribe.  Thanks for your support!

Ranking the top 5 moments from “Supernatural” season 14 episode 1 season premiere: “What Do You Want?”

Happy Friday TV fans!  After watching the CW’s Supernatural season 14 episode 1 season premiere, the wait is finally over and we get to catch up with the Winchester brothers.  Please note spoilers are ahead if you have not gotten a chance to watch yet.  A lot happened last season, but to quickly catch you up, Michael is currently residing in Dean’s body, Jack has lost his powers, Lucifer is dead, and Bobby is alive.  Well it’s not our Bobby, it’s a Bobby from another dimension, but you get the idea.  In last night’s season premiere, “Stranger in a Strange Land,” we learn that Michael is travelling all over the world to find out what holy men want.  Meanwhile, Jack is trying to adjust to life without his powers, Sam and Castiel are trying everything to track down Dean, and Lucifer’s vessel, Nick, is still alive.  My top 5 moments from Supernatural season 14 episode 1 season premiere are:

5

“The other one.  The better one.”

In the beginning of the episode, we catch up with Dean, or rather Michael, who is still sporting his Newsboy cap with style.  We learn that Dean/Michael has been travelling all over the world and has been speaking to holy men, asking them what they want.  Dean/Michael interrupts a man who is praying to Allah and asks him what he wants, but quickly breaks down the facade and shows him what a hypocrite he has been.  Dean/Michael explains that, “you’re lost and not worth saving.”  Michael is looking for a better world, but what extreme measures will he take to create it?

4

“I don’t understand how Lucifer could die and I could live.”

I’m not really sure either Nick, but I am excited to still have Mark Pellegrino on the show.  Seriously he’s the best.  Sam explains that he is not too sure either, but tries to see if Nick has held on to any important information that could help him track down his brother.  While Nick doesn’t seem too useful just yet, you have to wonder if Lucifer will somehow come back from the dead and raise hell.  I mean it’s not the first time he has done this.

3

“It ain’t how hard you hit, it’s how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.”

Good advice parallel world Bobby.  Jack hilariously asks him if that was Ghandi and it’s great to see that Jack hasn’t lost his unintentional humor along with his grace.  Jack has been trying to adjust to life without his powers, but it is a lot for him.  Jack desperately wants to help his friends and family and Bobby is a good mentor for him.  Bobby has been trying to train him on fighting, but Jack still has a lot to learn.  I’m confident that he will find his place sooner or later, especially since we know his heart is in the right place.

2

“There will be no new king of hell.  Not today.  Not ever.”

Sam is not messing around, as his number one priority is to find his brother.  Castiel consorts with a demon, trying literally everything to find his good friend.  The demon even jokes to Castiel, “I thought you two were joined at the everything.”  The demon holds Castiel hostage and gives Sam a call, who arrives with plenty of backup.  The demon explains that “hell is in a bit of a pickle” and he wants to make a deal with Sam.  Demons do love their fair share of deals.  Well they aren’t really fair about it, but they definitely know how to stick to a contract for sure.  The demon tells Sam that he wants the “Crowley deal” and Sam had me cheering out loud when he says, “But you’re no Crowley.”  No this demon is definitely nowhere near the level of our old frenemy, Crowley.  The threat is eliminated and Sam tells the other demons that there will be no new king of hell and that anyone who thinks otherwise will need to go through him directly.  While I appreciate Sam’s words, it got me thinking about a new potential king of hell.  We know that the demons are not going to just sit by because a Winchester told them to.  So many other characters have come back from the dead.  Is it possible that we may see Crowley again?  Fingers crossed!

1

“You got me.  You have all of us.  You have your family and we are going to find Dean and beat Michael…because that’s what we do.”

I have to admit that I have missed the Supernatural  pep talks quite a lot.  Jack is feeling defeated after he merely just got punched in the face and Castiel hilariously points out that pretty much everyone got punched in the face.  Jack is feeling useless and doesn’t know how to help.  Castiel reminds him that his grace will restore itself eventually, but that he has him in the meantime and his entire family, which is a touching moment.  Castiel, Sam, and Dean have been like fathers to Jack and they have all been influencing him and helping him discover who he is along the way.  I’m looking forward to seeing Jack’s character develop even further and I have a feeling that he will make a difference in the world without his grace.  At the end of the episode, Sam receives a call from Sister Jo and she tells him that they have a problem, revealing that she received a visit from Dean/Michael earlier.  Dean/Michael visits with a vampire and recognizes that this creature knows exactly what it wants.  Is Michael about to form an alliance with vampires?  We’ll have to stay tuned, but I’m not sure that Michael has the best intentions for his “better world.”

I hope you enjoyed the list and feel free to post your own thoughts and theories on Supernatural in the comments section below.  Happy viewing!

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Best,

Amy Koto, TV Fanatic Girl

@TV_Fanatic_Girl

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If you enjoyed this blog, I would love it if you would click the follow button on your way out to subscribe.  Thanks for your support! 

I am so excited to announce that my book, The Search for Alice, is now available!  If you enjoy fairy-tale retellings, paranormal romance, horror, and mystery, then this might be the book for you or someone you know!  Thank you for taking the time to check it out and I appreciate any feedback as well.  I hope you enjoy!

When Kallie Bennett, a jaded teenage girl plagued by her alcoholic mother and her peers molded out of sheer bubble gum perfection, chases after Alice in Wonderland herself, she ends up lost in her own version of Wonderland, which forces her to face her utmost fears and introduces her to familiar characters with a dark twist. Among these characters is Ches, a gorgeous vampire with a conflicted conscience, who becomes Kallie’s guide and blossoming love interest. She also crosses paths with Queen Hartley, a manipulative witch who has the power to strip away one’s memories and imagination, which brings a bone chilling new meaning to “off with their heads.” In The Search for Alice, Kallie starts to realize that her Wonderland is just as frightening as her own reality and that she cannot always run away from her problems. She must figure out a way to defeat Queen Hartley and return home before it is too late, but she soon learns that escaping Wonderland means leaving Ches behind forever.

Want to read more?  You can click the link directly below for a free preview.  Thanks for your support!

Free Instant Preview of The Search for Alice is available here!

The Search for Alice is available here!

The Search for Alice Cover