Happy Monday TV fans! After watching Showtime’s The Affair last night, I learned that we sometimes have to go back to the past and walk in the steps of those before us in order to truly know which path to take for our own future. We may find answers to a mystery that we never even knew existed or realize that we have never made a single choice for ourselves, but what we do next can help determine who we are and who we can still become. We don’t have to travel across the country to find it, but sometimes we need to escape just for a little while to listen to our heart and find out what or who it truly desires. Please note spoilers are ahead if you have not gotten a chance to watch the latest episode yet. In last night’s episode, “405,” Cole journeys to Morro Bay, California to find out more about his father’s surfboard, but meets someone unexpected from his father’s past who will potentially change his future. Meanwhile, Vik feels like his whole world is crashing down around him, desperate to turn off the reality of his situation and live in the moment. My top 5 moments from The Affair season 4 episode 5 are:
“I can’t do it alone.”
Part one of the episode opens up with Vik and it was refreshing to see things from his perspective. Typically when we learn anything about Vik, it is from Helen’s eyes, so this was a nice change. Vik certainly has a lot on his plate, as he has just found out that he has stage 4 pancreatic cancer and is looking for some way to give his short life meaning. After trying to talk to his parents, his father asks him, “Why do you have to be so cruel?” Vik is merely trying to let his parents know about his life insurance policy and prepare them for the inevitable, but they don’t want to hear the truth about his situation. Vik hopes to have better luck with Helen and is disappointed when the fertility doctor explains that their situation has not improved in order for Helen to have a baby. Helen admits that she has not been giving herself the shots as much as she should because she really doesn’t want to have a baby in a world without Vik. While one can understand where Helen is coming from, who already has four children, Vik is crushed by this and is angry that Helen has lied to him once again.
“I haven’t made a single choice for myself.”
After realizing that his day isn’t going to get any better, Vik decides not to return to work at the hospital and instead buys a fancy Porsche with no hesitation. After going off on his neighbor, Sierra, for leaving her garbage can out again, Sierra is distracted by his new shiny car and suggests that they take it for a ride. After testing out how fast the car can go, Vik gets pulled over and starts laughing when the cop tells him that they could have gotten killed. He blurts out that he has stage 4 cancer and the cop reminds him this isn’t the first time he has heard this from someone. Vik tells him, “so write me a ticket then,” not caring about the consequences of his actions, as Sierra is shocked to find out that that Vik is dying. Vik later returns to Sierra’s home and the two talk about their lives and Vik comes to the realization that every single choice he has made has been for his parents. He finally makes a decision for himself when he decides to sleep with Sierra, but will he be able to tell Helen what happened? Vik is all about living in the moment right now, but what happens when reality begins to set in again?
“I come with the room.”
In part two, Cole travels out to Morro Bay, California and meets the beautiful and mysterious, Delphine, played by the brilliant Phoebe Tonkin. Cole initially declines her forward advances, but eventually gives in to temptation after the two of them bond later in the episode. Cole recognizes that his affair with Delphine is fleeting and temporary and she is perfectly OK with that, explaining that Cole doesn’t need to apologize to her because it was something she wanted. Even though Cole will probably never see Delphine again, it’s clear that she has had an impact to him, opening his eyes to the truth that he kept hidden away for so long.
“You look so much like someone I used to know.”
Perhaps the biggest surprise for Cole is that he meets Nan, who is beyond shocked when Cole walks through the doors of the Perino Gallery. Cole discovers that Nan is the one who made his father’s surfboard and quickly learns that they also had an affair for a summer. Nan is very welcoming to Cole and has a free spirit charm that is endearing. She confides in Cole about his father and tells him that he was adventurous, which drastically differs from Cole’s own memories about his father, who he described as “emotionally depressed.” After revealing that his father died many years back, Nan is beyond upset. Cole realizes that their affair was not meaningless, as Nan truly loved his father. She shows Cole the love letters that she continued to write him for 10 years after he went back home and Cole starts to see everything with fresh new eyes. Nan explains that she thought of Cole’s father, Gabriel, as her soul mate and her destiny. She shows him that the symbol on his surfboard contains their initials, intertwined for eternity. You can see the love in Nan’s eyes when she talks about Gabriel, as she tells Cole that he called her “wild eyes” and said that he didn’t know that women like her existed in the world. Nan admits to Cole that they wanted different things and that she has no regrets, but that he had to return home because Cherry was pregnant and threatened to kill herself. Cole is shocked to learn this, but Nan explains that she tried to do an “exorcism” of sorts through letters to give Gabriel the opportunity to free himself from her and move on with his life.
“Take care of your mind, body, and soul.”
After learning about the “exorcism” that Nan describes, Cole takes this opportunity to try it out for himself and to use it on his own feelings for Alison. Nan reads each of the five letters to him, which are assigned with a task and asks Delphine to be his guide through this experience. The letters start off with tasks like finding something in nature that has the scent of the one you love and writing down everything you love about that person. It then escalates to burning these items along with the scent and stating out loud everything you hate that you associate with them. Cole finally allows his emotions and feelings to reach the surface and his words are beyond moving. He finally says that, “I hate that you gave up on me and I hate that I can’t give up on you.” Delphine reminds him to state his intention as he says these words and burns everything and he finally says, “I want to be free of you.” During Cole’s “exorcism” of his feelings for Alison, the song, “The Night We Met” by Lord Huron is playing in the background. If you have ever seen the show, “13 Reasons Why,” this is the song that played when Clay and Hannah danced together and it instantly tugs at your emotions and you will find yourself crying before you know it. You can listen to the song here. This song was the perfect soundtrack to Cole’s “exorcism,” as he allows himself to try and be free of Alison, but tells Nan the next day that he only feels worse and it didn’t work. Nan tries to tell him it worked for his father because the last task was to send back the letters and she has them. Cole looks closely at the postmark and tells Nan that his father never sent them, as it was postmarked two years after he died. He realizes that Cherry must have found them and sent them back to Nan, crushing her hope that Gabriel’s love for her still existed. Cole explains that his father hung himself on his 10th birthday, just a couple of weeks after the last letter arrived.
This moment is heartbreaking, but Nan finally learns the truth that Gabriel’s love for her never burned out and Cole now understands that he is still in love with Alison and that he needs to tell her how he feels before it’s too late. Delphine tells Cole to “take care of his mind, body, and soul,” before he goes and Cole thanks his father, as he leaves Morro Bay behind. After watching this episode, I almost wish that part two was the entire episode, but I do think it is important that we saw what is going on with Vik as well. That being said, part two of the episode was so beautifully written and well executed and may have been one of the most beautiful moments I have ever seen on the show. Now that we know how Cole feels about Alison, will she return his love before it’s too late? Does Cole get a chance to tell Alison that he loves her before she goes missing? Stay tuned, as things continue to heat up each week!
I hope you enjoyed the list and feel free to post your own theories and thoughts on The Affair below in the comments section. Thanks so much for reading and happy viewing!
Amy Koto, TV Fanatic Girl
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